A rambling account of Ants and their imminent demise, among other things

Although the   blue sky that  greeted me  when I awoke this morning was a welcome sight after yesterday's gloomy grey sky, it still wasn't quite enough to   drive away the winter blues feeling I get  this time of year. Maybe it's the cold, the shorter days, the itching to get outside and feel the warm sun without   having to bundle up like the Michelin Man. I find it hard to come up with anything worth  blogging about when the blues hit, but since I vowed to do better this year, I'm determined to try, even if I just have to ramble on aimlessly :-).  Please feel free to leave  if you get bored. 

I did get outside today  long enough to refill the bird feeders and clean up some odds and ends on the deck.  But what was really nice was puttering about in the greenhouse for a little while, deadheading some plants, clearing up a space  for seed starting and just admiring the  few plants that are still blooming.  With the sun beating down on it all day the  greenhouse  was toasty warm.  Which is probably why every ant for miles around has decided to take up residence in there.  I take that back- there are some ants who have decided the  window ledge above the kitchen sink is a nice toasty place to  reside. 

 I admire ants- they are industrious little creatures, and are  interesting to watch as they signal each other by touching antennae as they scurry back and forth between food sources and their nest.  I always feel guilty when I dispatch them to the great ant colony in the beyond, especially when I see one trying valiantly to  carry his fallen comrade back to home base. But I'm just not quite ready to  coexist peacefully with them yet. At least, not in the house or in the greenhouse, where they pour out of my pots in droves every time I water. 

We can usually keep a milder invasion under control by spraying peppermint oil. Ants use chemicals called pheromones to leave scent trails for other ants to follow. The peppermint oil, or any other strong oil, such as cinnamon,  interferes with their scent receptors and they can no longer signal each other and usually stay away from the strong scent. But sometimes, they  are so invasive and   come in such huge numbers that we resort to more drastic measures. My favorite method is to use Terro ant baits or drops. The  active ingredient  in Terro is  Borax in a liquid base that attracts the worker ants who consume the  bait and live just long enough to carry the  liquid back to the nest  to deliver a deadly dose to the rest  of the  colony. When we first began using Terro we used  drops on little   cardboard squares.  It took a little while for the ants to discover the bait, but  soon a few came and began to fill up on the syrupy liquid. 
 
 As word (or whatever communication form  ants use) got out more ants came- and kept coming until there was a huge pile of ants upon ants upon ants on the  bait. This went on for two or three days and then there were none.  They   just disappeared. Needless to say, it was a little unnerving to see that many ants on the kitchen counters,  so we began to use the traps- the ants climb inside, and many of them die there, but enough  get back to the nest to  deliver the  poison and soon they are all gone. As I said, I feel guilty, but not enough to stop using the stuff, especially after discovering once a few years ago that they had  invaded my cutlery/gadget drawer and  a sizable contingent had  taken up residence in my turkey baster. 

Killing ants does nothing to lift the winter blues, but  it did give me something to blog about tonight, in a rambling, roundabout way, so maybe ants in  the kitchen  do have some redeeming qualities after all! :-)

Ponderings about life and death and living well

I have begun this blog post  several times, only to  delete everything I've written.  The news this week that  David Bowie, Alan Rickman and now Celine Dion's husband, René Angélil, have all died from Cancer within days of each other  is depressing enough.  But then to read in today' newspaper that a young man, full of hope and promise, from  a town just up the road was shot and killed in a robbery as he waited in line  to buy a hamburger  at a fast food restaurant is almost too much  to process.

When you have  stage IV cancer, you realize that the odds are it is going to kill you, you just don't know when.  It's sort of like waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Meanwhile you go on with life  in as normal a way as possible, because you also realize that   any of us could die  at any time, even  while waiting in line for a hamburger.  So  you   decide that you can either spend your days worrying  about dying or you can get on with the business of living. And you do that in between waiting for the next scan or test to be scheduled, the next  doctor appointment, the next treatment. But in between all those tests, appointments, treatments, some of which  sap your  energy, make you   ill, cause you to have numb  feet and fingers, there are  meals to plan, shop for and cook,   dogs and cats to  feed, walk, take to the vet, bird feeders to refill, gardens to  plant and weed,  and even toilets to scrub.  And there are sunrises and sunsets to marvel at,  birds flitting about, squirrels  scampering up tree trunks, and friends and family to talk to and interact with. 

 And life goes on.  Until it doesn't. And that's OK, because today is all we have, and  the best we can do is  live today in the best way we know how and not take it for granted.  To squeeze every drop of joy and love and life  from every day and  share  that love and  joy as best we can with those around us.  As Francis Bacon said: “We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake...” Let us live that moment well and fully.

Seeds, Spring and Salmon

My seeds from Pinetree Garden Seeds  Seeds came today! Also in the order were  plant markers a new marking pen, a complimentary packet of zinnia seeds and a new cookbook,  The Pollen Family Table,  written by Corky, Lori, Dana and Tracy Pollen with a  foreword by Michael Pollen. It's a lovely cookbook with   photos of the Pollans preparing and enjoying food and  it's filled with hints, suggestions and  biographical sketches of the authors.

I   tried recipes from both my new cookbooks for supper tonight: pan seared salmon with salsa verde from the Pollan book, and saffron spinach risotto from Annabell Langbein's book. Here's a pic  of the salmon dish and  the recipe, since we gobbled ours down without taking a pic of it. It was  fun to make the salsa verde with parsley and chives from  the earthboxes on the deck and  mint and basil ( the Pollans suggested basil as a substitute for people who don't like cilantro --and I definitely don't like cilantro) overwintering in pots in the greenhouse.

It was a delicious meal, with  so many lovely flavors. I'm looking forward to trying more recipes from both books. And of course, I'm looking forward to sowing  the seeds that came.  Oh- and I  also ordered more seeds- I've decided we MUST have   summer squash and more annual herbs. Now I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I haven't bitten off more than I can chew with all these grand gardening plans! At any rate, I'm looking forward to spring and watching   all the plants wake up and  leaf out  after their winter sleep.

The cookbook as a work of art

My  Annabell Langbein Free Range Cook book came today! It is  absolutely wonderful!

Not only are the recipes fresh, exciting and  delicious, but the beautiful photography makes each dish, each meal, look like an  inviting, sensual delight. The menus from her cooking  series are there so you can plan an entire meal from appetizer to dessert.  Interspersed throughout is Ms. Langbein’s commentary, showing her devotion to wholesome, fresh food, simple living, and her appreciation of  and for the people who produce that food and the beautiful  New Zealand landscape that surrounds her. 

 I can’t wait to try some of the recipes.  And I have decided that we MUST grow squash in our garden this year, or at least zucchini, just so we can try her chevre-stuffed zucchini flowers. Watch out, evil squash vine borers-  we  will fight once more

If your local  public television channel  carries the show, you might want to check it out.  It’s shown in my area on APTV Create, but  the  schedule seems to vary quite a bit and I’ve missed a few shows. You can check  for your area on her website which has a link to the  US  stations that carry her show.

 The cookbooks are available from Amazon; This is the one I  have: The Free Range Cook: Simple Pleasures.

Dreaming of Spring

I ordered seeds today:  haricots vert, rainbow carrots, eggplants, both purple and white, tomatoes, lovely little leaf lettuce.  I decided to minimize my stress factor by NOT growing squash and facing the inevitable   heartache of losing my lovely squash to the evil squash vine borers as has happened nearly every year.  I will buy squash this summer at the farmers market and let others deal with the nasty insects that suck the life from the plants. I had hoped to grow some so that I could cook the squash blossoms, and I may yet order some  summer squash seed, there’s plenty of time.  Not wanting to completely eliminate the challenge of organic gardening in the Deep South, I did order some tomato seeds, so that I can battle the tomato hornworms again. I am a glutton for punishment, it seems. 

At any rate, the order is now on its way and the seeds should be here soon.  So while the temperature  tonight is already in the  twenties here and the cold winds, gray skies and frigid winter weather  may be here to  stay a while, I shall escape them temporarily by dreaming of spring and lovely warm  sunny days as I start preparing my seed box set-up in the greenhouse. 

To Seed or Not to Seed, That is the Question

Eight days into the new year. Time seems to fly by these days, and   so many things on my to-do list remain undone. I thought that once I was off the chemo and radiation, I would feel energized and get a lot more accomplished, but so far that hasn’t happened, and if anything, I have even less energy sometimes. I guess those non-cancerous cells that got zapped in treatment are taking longer to recover than I thought they would.  On a positive note, though, my radiation “sunburn” seems to be getting better and I can lie down without feeling I’m lying on a bed of nails.  And the large blue paint pen "X" marks that the radiation therapists marked me with have finally been scrubbed off. I rubbed and rubbed every time I got in the shower, but they stubbornly remained.  Now, after a week, they have finally faded to the point where they're barley visible.

I ordered a new cook book today: The Free Range Cook: Simple Pleasures , by

Annabel Langbein .  I  have  been watching cooking shows on  Public Television’s “Create” channel, and have gotten hooked on  Annabel Langbein and her recipes. I’m really looking forward to cooking vegetable samosas when the book comes- along with  some of the other scrumptious recipes I’ve seen on the show.

Ordinarily, I’d be sending off seed orders now, in anticipation of starting seeds in the greenhouse next month. But we still don’t know exactly what’s ahead in the way of treatment/surgery  or disease progression or regression  and whether or not I’ll be up to doing any heavy-duty gardening come spring so I’m thinking of just waiting to see how things go at my next appointment and buying bedding plants instead of starting my own seeds if it turns out that gardening is a go. I may give in and order seeds anyway, since we prefer heirloom plants and buying seed gives you  a much wider variety to choose from. Decisions, decisions. . . The saying goes that to plant a seed is to believe in tomorrow, so maybe I should just take an optimistic view,  sweep away any negative thoughts, plan my garden, and dream about all the delicious meals we can have  with freshly harvested  veggies from our very own back yard!  Meanwhile, I’ll look at  pics from last year's garden for inspiration. 

The garden looked so nice and neat until the hot weather set in and my energy and enthusiasm for weeding waned.  From then on, it became an unruly jungle!

The Bright Lights Chard is always so pretty.

 Annabell Langbein  cooked squash blossoms on tonight's program.   That would be fun and easy  if they were growing right outside the kitchen door!

 We enjoyed the lovely tender fresh lettuce last spring- and had enough to share with neighbors since I  tend to overplant .

Goodbye, Mr. Snowman. See you next year

We began taking down the Christmas decorations today.  No more brightly lit snowman with outstretched arms to welcome us home on cold dark nights. Now Mr. Snowman and his little fawn friend are inside, tucked away under the basement stairs until next Christmas.  The outside decorations, door wreaths, nutcracker princes, sleigh, santas and reindeer and the browning greens in the living room are all gone.  The Christmas decorations in the kitchen and den remain, but in the living room the Christmas tree,   with the nativity scene tucked under its lower branches, is all that remains of Christmas. It will come down tomorrow, on Twelfth Night.  I will miss seeing it all sparkly and shiny, brightening the corner with its cheerful lights.

A laid back start to the year

The new year is getting off to a slow start. I’m not pushing myself to get a lot done. Did a couple of loads of laundry, paid some bills, filled out my “to do” list for the week and managed to tick someone off  on facebook. You know, the usual stuff. It has been a cold day.  The sun must have thought it was too cold to come out too, since it has been hiding behind the lovely little fluffy cotton clouds all day.  But there have been patches of blue sky peeking out between the clouds, so it hasn’t been a dreary day, just a cold one.

  And I am very proud of myself!  Mr. G gave me a smartphone for Christmas.  It arrived after Christmas, but that’s another story.  At any rate, I  HATED it.  Couldn’t figure out how to do ANYthing with it. I was perfectly happy having a dumb phone that just made and received calls and text messages, but Mr. G heard me say once that I guessed I’d have to get a smartphone one day, and ta-da!  He decided now was the day and bought  me one.  I am happy to report that I have now managed to transfer my contact list from the old phone to the new one.  But best of all, I now have my faithful old rooster ringtone  back! Maybe if I keep plugging away and googling for  answers I’ll figure out how to use all the bells and whistles and grow to love it, just as I did the Kindle Fire, which I also hated at first.    

Hoping that your New Year is off to a good start and that the year holds  promise and hope and love for us all.

Welcome 2016!

It’s a new year.  Quite a few of my friends had more than their share of sadness in 2015 so I hope 2016 is a much better year for all of us.

Here’s a medical update: I finished up 28 rounds of chemoradiation on Dec. 30.  It was not the most pleasant experience I’ve ever had; in fact, my seat is quite sore. There is no way to describe the experience without being a little gross, but I’ll try not to be too graphic.  Imagine, if you can, that you have a severe sunburn  in and around your large intestine and rectum.  Now imagine that before it exits your body everything you eat is magically transformed into habanero peppers  boiled in molten lava and seasoned with fire ants. There you have it. It’s quite painful.  I’m pretty sure insurance won’t cover the cost of soundproofing the bathroom, but I think it should! Yet another complication, and one which caused the doctor to take me off chemo for a week or two, was mucositis-  nasty ulcers  that formed in my mouth and nose. I also had  more severe  tingling and numbness in my feet and hands but the ulcers were the doctor’s primary concern. She was worried they could spread to my throat making me unable to swallow and that I’d become dehydrated. So off came the pump. I was not sorry.  The pump went back on once the ulcers cleared up and I wore it for the final three days of radiation. The neuropathy  was more annoying than  truly painful- numb fingers make decorating a Christmas tree somewhat challenging J

I told my oncologist that I was pretty sure she and the radiation oncologist had consulted with the Marquis deSade  before coming up with that particular treatment plan.  She thought I was kidding. Little did she know!

Now we are waiting for insurance to approve another CT scan to see what effect, if any, the treatment has had. Once the CT scan is scheduled and done and the results are in I’ll meet again with both oncologists and the surgeon to see where we go from here. Needless to say, I’m hoping all that misery served a good purpose and that both the rectal and liver tumors have shrunk or disappeared.  Time (and the scan) will tell. Meanwhile I have almost a month with no daily treks to the clinic for a radiation treatment, no being tethered to a pump 24 hours a day five days a week.  The new sense of freedom has been wonderful for the past few days!

Another Catch-Up Post

Looks like my   goal of posting frequently and regularly has gone unfulfilled again and despite my promises and intentions to do better, I’ve fallen into a pattern of posting once or twice a month.  So this will be a catch-up post.

I finished the eight cycles of Folfox plus Avastin October 3rd.  I feel  fortunate that the side effects were not as severe or debilitating as I’d feared. Probably the worst side effect, other than the occasional fatigue, was the drop in my white blood cell count, which delayed treatment a few times and made it necessary for me to get Neupogen shots to stimulate  my bone marrow to produce more white cells -- nineteen shots in all. One of the possible common side effects listed was  deep bone pain. I had the bone pain after the first shot  but was able to prevent it by taking a Tylenol before getting the next 18 shots- it worked! At one point my white cell count went from 3,100cmm to 36,200cmm after 3 shots; germs didn't stand a chance of surviving that week. But  they went  way down again after chemo.  It was a real roller coaster! 

I don’t want to paint too rosy a picture- the chemo was not all smiles and sunshine; there were quite a few days when I did feel the side effects.  And given the high temperatures we had here this summer, the desire for something cold to drink got really overwhelming at times.  But the oncology nurses warned me that drinking anything cold while on Oxaliplatin could be painful, so I drank and ate everything at room temperature or hotter. Except for the one time I forgot and took a swig of water straight from the fridge.  Oh MY!! It felt as though I was swallowing shards of glass! I didn’t try THAT again! And it did get to be an aggravation towards the end of the regimen when, in order to avoid the pain of neuropathy, I had to wear gloves while reaching into the fridge or freezer or shopping the frozen food aisles at the grocery store.

Anyway, I survived- and didn’t even lose much hair.  It thinned but stayed on my head for the most part. In fact, everyone I run into who knows I’ve been on chemo says how good I look, which is a little worrisome because folks never  went out of their way to tell me how good I looked before all this started ;-)

The oncologist set me up for another CT scan to see how effective the chemo had been. The results came in a couple of weeks ago. They show that the rectal tumor and the liver tumor have both shrunk, but the surgeon suggested that rather than schedule surgery right away we try to shrink or eliminate the rectal tumor using radiation therapy and shrink the liver tumor some more with chemo, then consider ablation, so I met again with the medical oncologist last week and will meet with the radiology oncologist this week to get that ball rolling.  Not looking forward to having a sunburn where the sun don’t shine nor am I overjoyed at wearing the portable infusion pump five or more days a week, but you do what you have to do.  And so it goes.

Rights, Restrictions and and Gun Control

With all the news over the past few days of  shootings and the ensuing Second Amendment arguments that invariably follow such tragedies claiming that gun control legislation is an attempt to seize  guns owned by law-abiding citizens and to take away Second Amendment rights, I got to wondering. . .
The Privileges and Immunities Clause, Article IV, Section 2, Clause 1 of the US Constitution  guarantees the right of free movement between the states. Most people nowadays drive or ride in motor vehicles. According to the Bureau of Transportation Statistics, in 2008, Americans owned 137,079,843 passenger cars, or a little less than one car for every two people.  But in order to legally drive a motor vehicle a person here in Alabama, as in other states, must obtain a license which includes taking a test to insure that he/she  has the skills necessary, is  physically and mentally fit to drive, and is aware of  the laws related to operating a motor vehicle.  Furthermore, this license has to be renewed periodically.  Additionally, all vehicles must be registered, which has another set of requirements, and the vehicles must carry insurance.

And yet there is no great hue and cry that these restrictions and controls infringe on a citizen’s right of free movement. Nor is there an outpouring of outrage  that such   requirements are an attempt to take vehicles away from people. Because  people know that it just isn’t true, and the auto industry evidently has no powerful, fear-mongering organization  equivalent to the NRA to convince them otherwise. 

Guns  and hunting have been  around a long time in this country, as has the National Rifle Association, but  for  most of that time, people didn’t see the need to hunt defenseless animals with semi-automatic, military-style weapons using armor- piercing ammunition, and I’d be willing to bet that most responsible gun owners still don’t. It seems to me this whole Second Amendment   uproar is a result of manipulation and lobbying  by the NRA to increase their membership and increase gun sales during a period when fewer people own guns and a small percentage of gun owners actually hunt.  For over a hundred years the NRA focused on hunting, conservation and marksmanship. One of its programs  taught Boy Scouts how to shoot safely and still provides Rifle Instructor Certification for those who wish to become a Boy Scouts of America Rifle Merit Badge Counselor. That certification requires training and testing. Ironically, the organization that believes everyone who wants to own a gun should be allowed to  regardless of  their fitness or ability and that opposes sensible regulation and registration for gun owners requires candidates for   instructor positions to:"achieve a score of 90 percent or higher in a written examination and have a minimum passing score of 80 out of a possible 100 points in firearms handling, shooting competence, and firearms safety evaluation."  The NRA states that "Only those candidates who achieve satisfactory scores in the pre-course qualification, and who meet other specified requirements for NRA instructors, are eligible for certification."  So obviously the NRA sees some value in testing and certification for certain gun owners and users.  Somewhere along the  way,  radicals took over the NRA and it became more political,  until today it is one of the most powerful lobbying organizations in the country, spending millions to influence legislators and legislation.  In 2014 the NRA spent $3.6  million on lobbying against gun control legislation, which is quite a hefty sum, but  is  considerably less than they spent in 2010.  Forbes magazine reported that in 2010 the NRA reported that it had 781 full time employees, 125,000 volunteers and generated revenues of $227.8 million, but that still wasn’t enough to cover expenses. In total, they spent $243.5 million, leaving a $15 million shortfall. That year, $10 million went to the NRA’s lobbying arm, the Institute for Legislative Action. The NRA’s 129^th convention, held in Charlotte, N.C.  in 2000, became an all out political attack on Democratic presidential candidate, Al Gore, with speeches  claiming that Gore would  take away everyone’s guns.  The convention concluded with Charlton Heston, then president of the NRA, making  his famous speech in  which, in true movie star style, he brandished a musket in the air, challenging Gore, stating, “ especially for you, Mr. Gore: From my cold, dead hands!"

Today, there are  too many “cold dead hands”, too many dead children, too many troubled youth who see guns as the way to end their problems and too many paranoid people who have been stirred up into a frenzy by fear-mongering entities like the NRA who spread  misinformation, and hatred.  Yes, the 2^nd Amendment guarantees the right of free citizens to bear arms.  That is not in dispute. But that right, like all the others granted in the Bill of Rights, is not absolute.   Rights carry with them limitations and restrictions.  Even the very conservative Supreme Court majority, in their 2008 ruling in the District of Columbia v. Heller case, note that, “Like most rights, the Second Amendment right is not unlimited. It is not a right to keep and carry any weapon whatsoever in any manner whatsoever and for whatever purpose: For example, concealed weapons prohibitions have been upheld under the Amendment or state analogues. The Court’s opinion should not be taken to cast doubt on longstanding prohibitions on the possession of firearms by

felons and the mentally ill, or laws forbidding the carrying of fire-arms in sensitive places

such as schools and government buildings, or laws imposing conditions and qualifications on the commercial sale of arms.”

 Why is that so hard for some people to understand? How many more mass shootings at schools and workplaces, how many instances of children shooting each other will it take before people say, "ENOUGH!"?

Moonstruck

 

Tonight  was  a once-in–a-generation occurrence- a supermoon, plus full lunar eclipse.  Since the next one is not scheduled to appear until 2033 or such, I figured that at my age and in my condition, this was my last chance to see one.  Of course, as luck would have it, the weather has been overcast all day with a heavy cloud cover and we were afraid  we wouldn’t  get to see it after all, but  there were a few moments when the clouds drifted away from the moon and we were able to get a few pics.  Not as spectacular as  some  I’ve seen posted on the Internet tonight, but  it was fun to watch, anyway. 

At first, there was no  red or orange glow, but   at the first break in the clouds I was able to get the  pic at the left. Within a minute, though the clouds moved back in and obscured the moon. Later, Mr. G went  and stood in the street, where  the trees wouldn't block his view, and waited for another break in the clouds.  He was able to get the picture below which does show the the moon with  its orange glow. It was  kind of fun to spend an evening being a little  moonstruck.

Late Summer, Early Fall Roundup

Pepper Place Market

 

It’s been nearly a month since my last post, and what a busy month it was.  After  my sixth treatment on August 26, we began to get ready for our daughter’s visit from Australia. We were in a flurry of getting the dogs to the groomer, cleaning house, getting in groceries, etc. and getting more Neupogen shots to keep my white blood cell count up.  I was able to get the shots scheduled for early morning so that our days weren’t  interrupted too much, so we were able to get a few activities in while Heather was here. We went to the Pepper Place Farmer’s Market, Railroad Park,  Art Crawl in downtown Birmingham, plus a couple of yoga classes and had a family get-together. 

Plenty of tomatoes and peaches

Heather   admiring some of the work at ArtCrawl

I was scheduled for the seventh chemo treatment on  September 9, but once again, my  white blood cell counts  had done a roller coaster ride in the week  following the last  Neupogen shot, so  I got more shots and chemo treatment was put off until September 11, a Friday, which meant I was  wearing the pump for Heather’s last week-end at home, which curtailed our planned activities somewhat. But we still managed to  have a nice visit and  we were able to enjoy some  of the sights  and activities in town while she was home.

It took me  quite a while to recover after that last treatment, and I had side effects that  I’d
 been able to avoid before. I experienced peripheral neuropathy in my hands for the first time- and it is NOT fun, so now I wear gloves whenever I reach into the fridge or freezer and Mr. G  reaches into the cooler and  frozen food sections  at the grocery store, because I  keep forgetting my gloves when we go out.  Gloves are just not something I normally think about when the weather is hot and humid, but a few more experiences of numb, painful fingers will probably work well to jog my memory.

I had  more shots on Sept 14,15 & 16 in order to build up my blood counts for  the last scheduled treatment on September 25, yesterday. I  thought at the time, and did mention that  maybe we should put off the shots until  just before the treatment, but was assured  this schedule should work just as well.  Guess what? It didn’t.  Another roller coaster on the  numbers and another delay, so I got a shot yesterday and will get more on Monday and Tuesday, with the chemo treatment  scheduled for Wednesday. About two weeks after that I’ll have a scan to see how all this chemo has worked, or rather IF it has worked to shrink the tumors,  and then we’ll figure out, based on the results, what happens next.

Hummingbird straggler, tiger swallowtail

Meanwhile, the  hummingbird  feeder, the scene of so much activity a week or two ago now hosts only the occasional straggler. The hummers have begun their migration now that fall has arrived. Butterflies are still fluttering about, and the summer  flowers are putting on their last show of the season, while  fall blooms and berries, like the beautybush are coming into their own.

Late summer bloomers

Signs of fall: American Beautyberry, goldenrod, pineapple sage, dogwood leaves

 Although the temperatures certainly don’t feel much like fall, the leaves are beginning to turn, ever so slowly, and  when a slight breeze blows, the golden leaves  come drifting down- a very welcome sight after a long, hot summer. .

Blue Infusion Chair Blues

Got my sixth chemo treatment today while I was in the blue chair in the  treatment room all hooked up to pumps and tubes. I'm now  hooked up to the portable pump  with the 5-FU until Friday.  White blood cell count was up just enough to go ahead with treatment after the three Neupogen shots last week but was still pretty low, so  I'm scheduled to get four shots next week.  Yuck!

Our daughter is coming in from Australia for a two week visit on Monday. I was able to plead with the scheduling nurses and get all the shots scheduled for first thing in the morning so  we don't have   the four days  broken up by mid-day runs to the clinic. Yay!!

Not feeling all that great tonight, having a little nausea for the first time, along with the fatigue and general  feeling of malaise.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better and I can go back to feeding hummingbirds, playing with the dogs and enjoying  Fred and Flo, the  pink plastic flamingos with panache. I may change Fred's name to Floyd, what do you think?

Pink Plastic Panache

We have flamingos in the front yard!  Gaudy, colorful, bright pink plastic flamingos. Maybe not a flamboyance of  flamingos,  since there are only  two, but I’m thinking of adding more.  I read of a  Christmas display that featured  eight  pink flamingos pulling Santa’s sleigh. I rather like that idea. Mr. G  went along with  these two, but didn't seem too thrilled about my idea for adding  to the flock.  I thought I heard him mumble something under his breath about my becoming an eccentric old biddy or words to that effect.  Honestly, the man has no sense of adventure!

 I know there are those who think pink plastic flamingos break the rules of decorum and good taste in garden decor, but  some rules just cry out to be broken. By having only two   pink plastic flamingos guarding two potted palms, I have also broken another rule, one of the cardinal rules of  good garden design- the rule of odd numbers. According to the garden guides,  one should plant things in groups of three, five, seven, etc. rather than in groups of two or four or six and so on because odd numbered groupings give a more naturalistic appearance. But let’s face it, there really isn’t a way to make   a gaudy pink plastic bird on wire legs look naturalistic in an Alabama garden, or any garden for that matter.  Since I am rather fond of symmetry, there are only two- one on each  side at the top of the front steps leading  from the parking area to the  front landing. The flamingos have a certain panache, pink plastic panache, if you will.  You can see only one in this photo,  this is Flo Flamingo. There is an identical display on the other side of the steps, with Fred flamingo guarding the potted palm. I’m not sure you can have identical displays with a male flamingo in one and a female flamingo in the other , but  in a whimsical world anything is possible.

Yoga, Doga, Do

Monday  night is yoga night, and I really look forward to our weekly class.  Many, if not most, of the class  participants have had or are having some sort of medical or health issue.  Some  have had   joint replacement or other surgery, several are  cancer survivors who have had or, in my case, are currently having, chemotherapy, and quite a few of us are in our golden years or beyond.   It's doubtful that any of us will be doing headstands,  complex lotus poses  or one-legged cranes, but Jilda, our wonderful instructor, encourages us to do what we can. And in fact, we do  very well with lunges  and planks and as  mountains, chairs, warriors and trees,  although I  will admit that my tree  tends to sway in the wind quite a bit, and since I do chair yoga,  have steered clear of planks. I do  enjoy the class and feel both energized and calm afterwards.

Agatha and Victoria are always overexcited when we get home, particularly when we come in, as we did tonight, with  aromatic food from the neighborhood Mexican Grill.  Agatha was  leaping about begging for  some of my spinach cheese enchilada while  Victoria was more low key, sitting under the table and whining as though she hadn't been fed in ages, when in fact, she had eaten  shortly before we left for class and could, given her current pudginess, stand to miss a meal or two.

Tonight, I decided to  try a new technique on Agatha.  I told her, in my calmest, most soothing yoga voice to  "just breathe  and let your muscles soften and relax.  Let go of your tension and  with each breath feel yourself becoming calmer." Wonder of wonder, she was so  surprised that  she sat down, perked up her ears, cocked her head and looked at me as though I'd lost my marbles. But she was no longer    begging noisily for food. I told Mr. G that maybe we were onto something and should start    a yoga class for dogs. Then I discovered that this isn't a new idea at all- there actually is such a thing as dog yoga- or doga!   There are books about doga and doga calendars like these that I found on amazon.com:

Agatha and Victoria won't be going to yoga class with me, but who knows, one day  there may be a doga class offered at the community center and if there is,  I just might sign them up! 

Confessions of an Unrepentant, Semi-reformed Pack Rat

Remember the messy desk pic from a  few of days ago? In case you don't remember, here it is again:

 Well, today I decided to tackle it.  It was almost like going on an archaeological dig, carefully peeling away  layers of time to reveal the past. There were grocery store coupons that had expired six years ago; store receipts from who knows when because the print had faded so badly; old clippings from newspapers and magazines and more.  Most of the clippings were a puzzlement. I have no idea why  I clipped them. At any rate, I filled a  trash can with stuff.  I am sure that once it has all made its way to the dump I'll remember  why  I was saving some of those receipts and clippings and want them back, but. . .
I finished cleaning up the desk by late afternoon.  Here it is in all its clean, boring, uncluttered glory. It will look like this maybe for a day or two, then it will, in all probability, revert back to its normal disorderly state.

My next challenge was the table - I forgot to take a "before" pic, but trust me- it was piled high.  Plus it  has some trays  holding files.  My first  thought after going through some of  the files, folders and piles of things on the table is that at  some point I must have adopted the belief that if I dared ever to throw anything away, no matter how insignificant, a great monster would swoop down from the sky, transport me to the county dump and force me to  rummage through   trash for eternity.

My second thought is that I am a pack rat, or a hoarder in training.  But my third thought is  that being a pack rat has an upside. I mean, had I not saved  the program, how would I know that at 8:30 PM on Thursday evening, September 30, 1965, I had attended  the  ballets, "Coppelia" and "Carmen"  performed at the Philadelphia Academy of Music by the Royal Danish Ballet? That  actually brought back  memories of standing in a long line   outside the Academy on my lunch break.  and  being late getting back to work. I attended the ballet alone and can remember how entranced I was by the music, the costumes and the beauty and sensuality of the dancers, particularly of Erik Bruhn  and Kirsten Simone as Don Jose and Carmen. I don't think I'll throw away the program just yet.

The table is almost  cleaned off now, and a lot of papers have been either filed in a cabinet or tossed in the trash. There are still plenty of  areas that need to be sorted out and straightened- including the wall hung file sorter which has become another catch-all, as you can see.

I may get   everything in apple pie order, sooner or later or I may not. Maybe someone  will  buy me  the book, The Secret Handbook for Perpetually Paralyzed Procrastinating Pack Rats Anonymous by Patricia Nudelman.  Then  I could spend my time reading  about how to get   organized without actually getting organized. I'm not going to spend a lot of time worrying about  messy desks or untidy  rooms.  There are birds, squirrels and chipmunks to watch as they  go about their business in the  yard, dogs to play with, people to talk to, points to ponder, Memory Lanes to travel down, and any number of other interesting things to do instead, so I 'll hold off on  sending  my membership dues to Pack Rats  Anonymous for a while and hope we can continue to survive and thrive in a state of semi-chaos.

To Market, To Market

We went to  market this morning but didn't buy a fat pig- didn't even see one, but we did see a lot of  lovely fresh veggies, fruit, eggs, herbs, breads, jams, jellies, pickles and preserves.  And dogs-  there were quite a few families who   had brought their  dogs to the market.  Small dogs, medium size dogs,  and one enormous dog that was about the size of a  small pony. The dogs were all well behaved, although it was  obvious that several of them would  rather have been off sniffing the other dogs rather than being led around on a leash.

Since I've been on chemo and trying to stay away from crowds because of my  now compromised immune system,  I have really missed our Saturday morning trips to  buy fresh veggies, eggs, herbs, etc. at Pepper Place Market in Birmingham. Once upon a time, when I was making and selling soap we had a booth there, and while I don't miss  getting up   in the wee hours of every Saturday morning to drive to  the market before dawn, set up, then stand out in the heat of summer or the chilly mornings of early spring and fall, or the rains, I do miss  the people and the atmosphere.

We decided if we could get there early, maybe  we could avoid the crowds.  There  were certainly more people who got there early than I had anticipated, but  it wasn't so crowded  that we were rubbing elbows with people, so it worked out pretty well.  We    enjoyed   wandering, visiting with some of the folks we knew from our market days,  and picking out some lovely fresh veggies.   Here are some of the sights from this morning's market.  Click on the pics to enlarge them.

The first booth we visited was  the Red Rubin Nursery booth   for some  herbs.  Bryan was in the booth next to us when we sold  soap at the market and I still  like to get  my herb plants from him. Today we bought some Italian parsley and  two pots of basil. Next we just wandered the market, enjoying  all the wonderful colors of the  fruits and veggies, stopping   to  touch smell, and buy  some, too.

There were purple pole beans and fuzzy peaches.

There was red and green okra in one booth and colorful grasses and flowers in another.

There were muscadines and scuppernongs, tomatoes, more peaches,  some pears and   green pole beans

There were  farm fresh eggs  in many hues,  jams, jellies and preserves, and and some lovely slender little haricots vert.

There were shiitake mushrooms growing on logs and resting in baskets.

On our way back to the car we  walked through the lush area outside Charlie Thigpen's Garden Gallery, enjoying the  lush, colorful plants   displayed.

We're  now looking forward to enjoying some delicious meals with the veggies and herbs we bought.

Islands of Order, Seas of Chaos, Messy Desks

 Most people who know me casually think I'm a well-organized person.   If they only knew!  In all honesty, I am organized in some areas.  My herbs and spices are arranged in alphabetical order. Every   cent I spend, owe or receive is entered into a  personal money management software program. The clothes in my closet are grouped  by color. The towels in the linen closet are arranged in neat stacks according to  their size and color. The books  on the bookshelves are arranged by category (more or less). The problem is,  these areas are  little islands of order in a sea of chaos. Open a cabinet  door in the kitchen and with the exception of the neat little  boxes containing the  herbs and spices, you are liable to be buried in an avalanche of various  bags and boxes of  foodstuffs that have been stuffed in wherever they would fit. Laundry  baskets full of  clothes that need to be ironed or folded  are permanent fixtures. And we don't even want to go  into the    files of documents and  photographs  on  the computer containing  heaven only knows what.  I keep intending to tackle some of these problem areas, but am overwhelmed  by the enormity of the task and give up without accomplishing much.

Which brings us to my messy desk.  Or rather Einstein's desk, as shown in this photograph taken  by Life Magazine photographer Ralph Morse the day Einstein died. The photo and several more previously unpublished photos are featured in this Time article. Einstein is  quoted as  asking, “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?”

Einstein wasn't the only one with a messy desk; as it turns out, a lot of creative people also   kept or keep   messy desks.  In fact,  several researchers at the  University of Minnesota, in  an abstract entitled Physical Order Produces Healthy Choices, Generosity, and Conventionality, Whereas Disorder Produces Creativity,  determined that “order and disorder are prevalent in both nature and culture, which suggests that each environment confers advantages for different outcomes.”

So I will leave you with a picture of my desk. I will no longer worry about it, because with this level or disorder, I must be one of the most creative people in existence! And believe it or not I know exactly where and what is buried in that chaos.