CT Scans and Craneflies

I had a CT scan yesterday with contrast.   Since I had a nasty reaction to the barium solution I drank beforehand for the  previous CT scan,  I was told to arrive an hour or so before the scan to drink  a solution they had  at the center.  After I  registered  a nurse brought out a bottle of what appeared to be clear water.  It was Omnipaque, an iodine solution in powder form mixed with water. It actually was  nearly tasteless and much easier to get down than the barium solution.  Best of all, it caused no  nasty reactions. About an hour after I’d  finished drinking it,   a technician called me back,  took a finger prick blood test to  check kidney function and had a nurse access my port. While they were doing the preliminary positioning, test scans, etc., we discovered that the buttons on my new shirt are not plastic, as I thought, but have some metal component that  screwed up the image, so we  began over, sans shirt, and they  began pumping in the iodinated intravenous contrast. That is always such a strange sensation and I’m so glad the tech warned me about it he first time I had a scan. Within   seconds of the dye pumping in, you  feel   a lot of heat,  especially in the groin area,  and get the sensation that you  are wetting yourself.  If they had not  warned me I would have sworn I WAS actually wetting myself. It’s very strange, but passes quickly.  The table slid  into the CT doughnut,  the whirring began, a disembodied voice ordered me to " Breathe in," "Hold your breathe," "Breathe!" a couple of times and   before I knew it, the tech was telling me we were finished. Now to wait for the results and keep fingers and toes crossed that the rectal tumor and  metastasized  liver tumor have shrunk, there are no new lesions anywhere, and the existing  spots and lesions have disappeared or remained stable.

Not having had anything to eat or drink since supper the night before I was ravenous when we got home at around  1 P.M. and desperately craving  a cup of coffee. Mr. G made some coffee, and  ham and cheese sandwiches, with loose leaf lettuce from our own little crop growing on the deck.  After that I napped for a little while before going outside to do some watering in the greenhouse and weeding in my little jungle of a garden bed.  It is somewhat frustrating to get tired so very easily, but   working fifteen or twenty minutes then taking a ten or fifteen minute break DOES get the job done, albeit a bit slower than I would like. The plan was that   I would cook supper early than take a short  break before getting ready for yoga. I had told the instructor that I probably wouldn’t be there because  I’m usually so fatigued for  three or four days after I get unhooked from the pump, but this time, I had a lot more energy, so I planned to go. Problem is, I fell asleep on my “short” break and by the time I woke up  it was too late to even think about cooking supper, getting showered and going anywhere, so I missed yoga class.  We did have a nice supper, though: more recipes from Annabel Langbein: Mediterranean baked fish and a slightly tweaked version of her parsley mashed potatoes (I added sour cream), and  spinach bacon and avocado salad with raspberry vinaigrette.

Today I’ve been back outside weeding the jungle, fighting to control the  ever expanding soapwort, watching   the cedar waxwings   gobbling the berries off the holly tree, and  wondering why these two,  who I think are craneflies, were at it for well over an hour on the back door didn’t  get a room somewhere!

More Political Ponderings

Since I  was first diagnosed  with cancer last year, my Medicare  supplemental policy insurance has been billed just over  $307,000 for the  physician care, tests, biopsies,  scans and treatments I’ve received. Because Medicare and the insurance company have been able to negotiate lower costs with the providers, they have paid only a portion of that amount, and  my total  out-of-pocket expenses are capped at $6700 per year. It’s still a hefty amount which threatens to destroy whatever meager savings we have managed to accumulate, but I am extremely grateful  to have the coverage and wish all Americans could have the security of knowing  they  can get affordable care, should they face a similar diagnosis or a catastrophic accident requiring extensive care. Which is why the idea of universal coverage as Bernie Sanders proposes appeals to me a great deal.   I like a lot of Bernie Sanders plans in theory.  But I have a lot of questions on how some of these plans would actually be implemented and question his and his campaign managers’ grasp of financial matters,  I find myself asking, "How?" to most of what Sanders says he is going to do. "How do you plan to convince Congress to increase taxes on the rich, increase wages, create jobs, extend Medicare to all as well as guarantee a free college education, etc.?" How much does Sen. Sanders actually know about how Medicare works? Does he realize how much those of us receiving Medicare have paid into it, how much our monthly premium deducted form our Social Security checks for Part B coverage is? Does he know that we have a pretty hefty out of pocket expense and that while it does provide many preventative services, Medicare does not cover most dental or eye care services, and does not cover hearing aids? What about the current  Medicare portion of the FICA payroll tax  paid by both  employers and employees to  cover Medicare premiums? Now the Medicare tax is 1.45%  for those earning under $200,000. Those earning   more than that amount also pay an additional 0.9% Medicare surtax.  Will that be increased or will the   tax be scrapped and rolled into an all inclusive payroll tax for universal healthcare? What about the unemployed?   How will their  tax be covered? Medicare is  truly a wonderful thing as is the idea of  universal healthcare is a goal we should strive for.  I believe the Affordable Care Act is a first step in the right direction toward achieving that goal, but when I look at the  Republican congressional opposition to it, the number of efforts to overturn the law and the  many Republican governors who have refused to expand Medicaid  so that their  constituents are eligible , I wonder just how realistic  many of Sanders sweeping proposals and promises are as opposed to Secretary Clinton’s more pragmatic approach and her determination to   support  down ticket Democratic candidates at  state  levels. Because   it is as the state and local level that a lot of legislative change and political  leverage  is needed

 A  question about Bernie Sanders’ free college  for all plan.   According to the summary on his site, Sanders’ plan  states that total tuition at public colleges and universities amounts to about $70 billion per year. Of that cost, under the Sanders plan the federal government  would be responsible for  67% of the cost while the states would be required to pick up the remaining 33% . But according to data from the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, states have been cutting funding  for K-12 programs since the 2008 recession and most states have not restored those earlier levels.  In fact, in about half the states reporting, less general aid  per student is being  provided now than in 2008, and In three states, including Alabama, funding  cuts are 15% or more.

The cuts also affect higher education. While state funding for higher education has been rising slightly in the last  couple of years, there is still a large reliance on student tuition to fund higher education.  US News reports that, “ Overall, half of states now receive more financial support from tuition dollars than from state or local funding. And the reliance on tuition revenue varies widely between states, from a low of 15.1 percent in Wyoming to a high of 84.5 percent in Vermont.”

Sanders’ plan calls for  financing the federal  funding  by Imposing a Robin Hood Tax on Wall Street, a Wall Street speculation fee on investment houses, hedge funds, and other speculators of 0.5% on stock trades (50 cents for every $100 worth of stock), a 0.1% fee on bonds, and a 0.005%fee on derivatives. He estimates that this fee will raise the necessary  money with some left over, but nowhere  in the plan does he address the problem of where the already cash-strapped states are going to come up with their share, nor of what happens  if  there is another  recession or a drop in speculation, stock trades, etc.

Sen. Sanders said, “I promise at the end of my first term we won't have more people in jail than in any other country. .But according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, of the  2.2 million Americans in prison at the end of 2013, only 215,000 inmates, less than 10% were in federal prisons. The rest were in state and local facilities. Even if he freed every prisoner in federal prisons, we would still have 2 million   people in prison.

And  back to taxes:  Many of the tax inequalities in this country are due to  state and local taxes. According to the Institute on Taxation and Economic Policy (ITEP), “On average, the poorest 20 percent of taxpayers nationwide pay more than double the effective tax rate paid by the richest 1 per cent of households (10.9 percent v. 5.4 percent). ITEP’s analysis factors in all major state and local taxes, including personal and corporate income taxes, property taxes, sales and other excise taxes.  And a lot of those taxes are state and local taxes that  affect the poor. Here  in Alabama, the poor pay more than 1½ times as much of their income on state and local taxes than the rich. Alabama also has some of the nation's highest sales tax rates, which disproportionately affects middle - and lower-income earners, and we also pay a tax on groceries.  Yet  Sen. Sanders' plan calls for adding  even more of a tax burden on the middle class.  As he noted in an October 2015 interview with George Stephanopoulos,“If you’re looking at providing paid family and medical leave – which virtually every other major country has – so that when a mom gives birth, she doesn’t have to go back to work in two weeks or if there is an illness in the family, dad or mom can stay home with the kids, that will require a small increase in the payroll tax.”  Right now there are federal  laws being proposed to deal with these issues including the Family And Medical Insurance Leave (FAMILY) Act, which would create a national paid family  and medical  leave insurance program  that would provide up to 12 weeks of partially - paid leave for reasons covered by the FMLA.  Also, more than $2.2 billion proposed in the Department of Labor’s Fiscal Year 2016 budget that would hel p states fund and implement new paid family and medical leave programs, and $35 million proposed for states to create the infrastructure needed to develop new state paid leave programs . Does Sanders propose to build on these policies or scrap them and  start from scratch? How does he  intned to get   Republican governors and state legislators on board, given the opposition they have shown to the Affordable Care Act?

I worry, with so many  Sanders supporters vowing that they  will not support  Clinton if Sanders loses the nomination,  that all the enthusiasm for the “revolution” that Senator Sanders is calling for  will  die down and that his followers will drop out rather than continue to work on passing progressive legislation and in getting  progressives elected to  local and state offices.

 So, yes,  I have a lot of misgivings about Senator Sanders’ proposals, and policies and the  way he has used the  Democratic Party he has scorned as being  part of the establishment responsible for our current   inequities and problems to further his own candidacy without supporting other progressives within the party.  Both candidates have flaws, all politicians do, and no politician is  going to be able to please 100 percent of  his or her constituency  all of the time.  What I wonder about is, do Sanders and his supporters realize that bankers and the 1%  are also part of the fabric of this country with rights and interests.   Their interests shouldn’t outweigh the interests of middle class and poor Americans as they have in the past and do now,  but in order to institute reforms and rein in   the influence of money in politics, compromises will have to be negotiated. In order to accommodate the interests of a diverse populace and best serve the needs of the country as a whole, adversaries with different ideologies will have to work together. Given that Sanders has castigated and alienated the banking industry and the rich to  a large degree, I’m not sure Sanders  is the best candidate to effect those changes, reforms and  compromises.

Look, Ma- red hands! A brand new side effect

Today was unhook day- Mr. G. unhooked me from the  5FU pump and flushed the lines this morning. I wasn't as fatigued as  I normally am and stayed awake most of the day.  I noticed that  the tips of my fingers and thumbs were sore, but didn't think too much about it.  Until I woke up from a  late-afternoon nap with   raging red palms and fingers that felt  sore and swollen- especially  the fingertips. Even soles of my feet were sore, but not  as much as my palms. Evidently I'm getting  all the side effects I've  read about with 5-FU, but thankfully not all at once.  This one is called  palmar-plantar erythrodysesthesia, or hand and foot syndrome.  Sounds  kind of like  hoof and mouth disease, doesn't it? In medical literature, the condition is described as "a cutaneous toxicity that manifests with palmar and plantar erythema, edema, and dysesthesia with varying degrees of pain, scaling, and vesiculation." There are all kinds of theories as to what causes it and who gets it, but  it is supposedly more common in women of advanced age, and I certainly fit that criteria! One of the more promising things I read in the Oncology literature was: "There actually have been some reports of PPE being correlated with improved survival, suggesting that greater exposure to the therapeutic drug, as represented by the PPE, also results in improved outcomes."  Now that would make a fair trade off on the  symptoms if  it turned out to be a strong correlation.

Anyhow, it was quite painful at first and I didn't know if I'd be able to  prepare supper, but Mr. G said he'd step in if needed   so I decided to  go ahead and try. I had already planned to cook some chicken tenders with roasted asparagus, and decided on lemony chicken francese. I think  working with the chicken, which involved a lot of hand washing, actually helped. I'd read that  one should avoid  heat with this condition, so I washed my hands  with cold water.  This is the exact opposite of  dealing with  the neuropathy I had earlier, where you avoid cold. I do think the cold water helped because the pain and  tenderness did seem to subside somewhat, although some tasks, like twisting the little tops on the salt and pepper mills, were painfully difficult. But everything went well, all things considered, and the chicken turned out  quite tender and the lemony sauce with capers was delicious.  It's now  a few hours later and while my hands  still feel a little sore and swollen they  are much improved and I'm hopeful  they'll be back to normal  soon.

So this is a most interesting journey,  quite bumpy at times, but a learning experience for sure.  Although, come  to think of it, it's not exactly the kind of learning experience I would have chosen if I'd actually had a choice.

I hope  the  whole hand  problem will be over by tomorrow.  We're supposed to have a nice day before the rain sets in on Sunday, and there are seedlings that need to be potted up, so I'm hoping to spend a few hours at the potting bench and maybe even get some more weeds pulled in  my jungle of  what was once a garden bed.

Treatment number four of this round is now history!

Had another  morning in the infusion room yesterday. This was my fourth treatment  on this round.  I have a CT scan scheduled for Monday to see if the tumors  and other liver lesions are regressing, progressing or staying stable. My oncologist  feels pretty confident that the scan will show shrinkage based on the results of my bloodwork, vitals and  general appearance.  I hope she's right. The one glitch is that  she will be out of town all week, so I asked if  it would be possible for me to get the results before she got back.  She said she'd leave  instruction for one of the nurses to call me when the results come in.  I'm hoping she remembered to do that. She knows having to wait for results causes me anxiety and that I  have much less anxiety when I get  bad news than I do having to wait for news, good or bad. I don't know   how we'll proceed, whether there will be more chemo or what- it all depends on what the scan shows.

There was quite a bit of activity  in the chair next to me yesterday. The woman in the chair was there for her second treatment, but her port  was infected, so she needed to get her infusion directly through a vein. Her veins were in such bad shape that it took two nurses to get the infusion started.  The doc came in and told her that if she wanted to delay the treatment for a week that she had no objection, but the  woman said she wanted to go ahead and get it, if possible. The poor woman was supposed to go straight  from the infusion to hospital admitting to begin a course of antibiotics and  have the port removed but when she found out they would keep her overnight for observation she insisted she needed to go home first, which they evidently got worked out to everybody's satisfaction.. She was in pretty good spirits when I left and talking about having a PICC line in place for the next treatment.  I do hope all goes well for her and she's able to finish  her chemo regimen.

I'm doing much better so far  after this treatment, not half as fatigued as usual.  I did crash for a few hours after we got home, but  have been up most of the day today, not doing anything strenuous, but have been able to  check on the greenhouse a few times,  take some pictures of things in bloom and post them to facebook, feed the dogs, and play toss the toy with them. I may even be up to  making supper tonight. The facial flushing has begun, as usual, bu even that isn't too bad, and actually, the red face is  an improvement over the deathly grey  pallor I have n the day of treatment.

When we got home yesterday, poor Victoria went to the brass  container I keep behind the front door to hold their leashes and tried to pull hers out, indicating she wanted to go for a walk.  I felt sorry for her, but just couldn't accommodate, so I'm kind of glad it's been raining today.  She  doesn't like the rain at all, so hasn't made a move to get her leash!

Our  dogwood is almost in full bloom- it looked like a lovely bright cloud on a gray morning. I snapped this just as the rain began to drizzle down.

Strange noises and chicken pot pie

Very early this morning I woke up and  thought I heard a female voice  asking, "Can you get it out?" over and over while a much deeper voice answered, "Noooo."  Turns out Agatha and Victoria were snoring and making dream sounds. I've never before heard them snore in a way that made them sound like human voices- it was really kind of spooky!

Fortunately, the rest of the day passed without any more weird happenings.  Mr. G and I went out in search of an orchid  for  our daughter-in-law's birthday, found a beautiful one,  then delivered it and spent some time  playing with  granddaughter Abby, who as usual, was bubbling over with energy and  giggles.

Once home,  it was time to start supper.  We had  bought a rotisserie chicken at Publix when we went grocery shopping on Wednesday.  Although we had  two meals and  some sandwiches from it, there was still quite a bit of it left,  so I decided to make a chicken pot pie, using a recipe from Pepperidge Farm that used  their puff pastry as a crust. The first step was to roll out one of the pastry sheets to fit in the bottom of a round casserole,  then  prick it all over with a fork, cover it with foil and  bake it  for about 25 minutes.  The pastry shrank back from the sides of the casserole dish a little, as you can see.


While the  pastry was  baking, I browned some fresh sliced carrots,  chopped onion,  and sliced mushrooms in butter, then added  some flour  and  cooked until the flour   turned  deep gold.  Next I added some broth, some thawed green peas from the freezer,  the diced chicken,  some  spices, and  some  minced parsley fresh from  the Earthboxes on the deck. When the mixture had thickened, I spooned it into the  pastry lined casserole dish  then  weaved   some strips cut from the second  sheet of puff pastry  to make a latticework  top. I cut the   strips too wide for the casserole dish I was using, but it turned out all right anyway.

 It went in the oven to  bake for  forty-five minutes and came out nice and golden, with the  filling  bubbling   under the lattice top. It smelled  delicious and tasted  very good, too.   With several meals, and what little was left on the carcass  chopped up for the dogs and cat, I think we got our money's worth from that rotisserie chicken!

I'm back and it looks like spring around here

It's been ten days since my last post.  During those ten days I got another chemo treatment and spent another  46 hours wearing the portable pump. It seems to take longer to  snap back after a treatment now, and I am perpetually tired.  Which is a shame because the weather had been glorious and I would love to be messing about in the dirt and pulling weeds. As it is, I've managed to keep the plants in the greenhouse and the little seedlings  that have now moved outside watered, and to keep the bird feeders filled.  I've even managed to take the dogs for a walk a few times, and cleaned up my very messy study, banishing the dust bunnies that had multiplied...well, like rabbits! And the kitchen floor- I  had to mop it- it had   gotten in such a state I feared the  board of health would be out to  close down the kitchen any day now if I didn't get some of the dog hair, tracked-in  dirt, splattered grease and other unidentifiable nastiness  swept up and mopped.

I've also  gotten outside to snap a few  pics  to  show that spring is finally on  its way. 

Ramblings on politics, the economy and the futility of seeking simple solutions

I'm thinking that NAFTA and other trade agreements probably did have something to do with manufacturing job losses in this country. But there were probably a lot of other factors, including financial market collapses, the oil crisis in the 1970s, that made smaller, fuel-efficient cars more attractive and provided an opportunity for Japanese auto makers to compete with US manufacturers and entrench themselves in the United States. There have been advances in robotic technology  that will have an impact on manufacturing now and in the future as more manufacturers shift to robotics.

 Even before the loss of a lot of those jobs in the auto industry, companies were being pressured by retailers like K-Mart, Target, WalMart, etc to keep prices low or lose business, and shareholders were demanding more profits, so American manufacturers looked overseas, mostly to Asia, where wages and production costs were cheaper. I'm pretty sure NAFTA didn't have a lot to do with the fact that years ago, it seemed every time I called a customer service number I ended up talking to somebody in India. And it wasn't just companies--according to a  report by CBS aired in 2003, at least 18 states were outsourcing welfare benefits calls to Indian operators because it saved money. That same report estimated that "in just the last three years, as many as 400,000 jobs have gone to places like China, Russia, and India." People just love to save money. 

We expect to pay low prices- without thinking of the consequences of those low prices. We have lost a lot of manufacturing plants; it's hard to find products made in the USA; But it can be done, there are still companies producing quality products in this country. You'll probably pay a little more for them than for the cheaply made products on sale in WalMart but if we're really concerned about the loss of  jobs and  manufacturing here,  we out to put our money where our mouth is and at least make an effort to "Buy American." Now that wages are rising in China and other countries, more manufacturers are beginning to bring production back home and customer service calls are increasingly being answered by people in the US. But we will probably never return to the heyday of American production that existed post- WWII. 

The global economy is complicated, but it seems, in addition to low prices we also want simple answers, and it's so much easier to blame something like NAFTA or GATT or the TPP for all our woes than it is to try to view them as part of a much larger picture, to figure out all the different aspects that have contributed to the problem and try to find a solution based on the reality of the situation. And it probably won't be quick or simple, no matter how much we'd like it to be.

Energized again!

I've been suffering from bloggers block for the last few days. After my first chemo treatment it took me five days after the unhooking before my energy level was back to nearly normal. Unfortunately this time I didn't have the full five days because Super Tuesday fell on the fourth day and I may very well have overdone it. Since we were going out to vote anyway I figured we could just combine trips so in addition to going to  the polls I went to the post office for stamps, to the grocery store for odds and ends we had run out of and to the beauty shop to get my hair cut. Consequently, by Wednesday, when I should have been full of vim and vigor, I was still dragging and we had to put off our once-- every-two-weeks trip   to Publix for groceries and    the dogs' appointment at the  groomer's until Thursday . As luck  would have it, Thursday was one of those cold, miserable, rainy days when you wish you could stay home.  But off we all went. I'm happy to report that although we got cold and wet, we  did get  stocked up and the girls look and smell much better.  It's amazing how much better it is to ride in the car with rain-wet dogs after said dogs have  had a bath and a haircut.

Today was a beautiful spring-like day, perfect for being outside.  I puttered about at the potting bench, transferring the baby lettuces  that were  sown a few weeks ago into their permanent homes-  long window box planters.  I also  planted the new lettuce seedlings from the latest sowing into the window boxes to eliminate  the need to  disturb their roots by  potting them up several times.  If they do as well as  the lettuce did last year we can look forward to some lovely salads in a couple of months.

Question for Sanders Supporters

I posted this in my facebook page but decided to post it here too. I really would like some answers.
As I've said before, I like a lot of Bernie Sanders plans in theory. But I have many questions on how some of these plans would actually be implemented. First, a question about Bernie Sanders’ free college for all plan. According to the summary on his site, Sanders’ plan states that total tuition at public colleges and universities amounts to about $70 billion per year. Of that cost, under the Sanders plan the federal government would be responsible for 67% of the cost while the states would be required to pick up the remaining 33% .

But states are cash strapped, and education has been taking a hit in state budgets. According to data from the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, states have been cutting funding for K-12 programs since the 2008 recession and most states have not restored those earlier levels. In fact, in about half the states reporting, less general aid per student is being provided now than in 2008, and In three states, including Alabama, funding cuts are 15% or more.
The cuts also affect higher education. While state funding for higher education has been rising slightly in the last couple of years, there is still a large reliance on student tuition to fund higher education. US News reports that, “Overall, half of states now receive more financial support from tuition dollars than from state or local funding. And the reliance on tuition revenue varies widely between states, from a low of 15.1 percent in Wyoming to a high of 84.5 percent in Vermont.”
Sanders’ plan calls for financing the federal portion by Imposing a Robin Hood Tax on Wall Street, a speculation fee on investment houses, hedge funds, and other speculators of 0.5% on stock trades (50 cents for every $100 worth of stock), a 0.1% fee on bonds, and a 0.005%fee on derivatives. He estimates that this fee will raise the necessary money with some left over, but nowhere in the plan does he address the problem of where the already cash-strapped states are going to come up with their share, nor of what happens to the federal funding if there is another recession or a drop in speculation, stock trades, etc.

Unhooked- Freedom and Fatigue

Today was unhooking day.  Chemo treatment number two of this  regimen is over, and I have survived. But  I have slept most of the day.  I don't know what it is about   getting unhooked from the 5-FU pump, but I am more fatigued on that day than any other, it seems. It was a shame  to be inside all day-  the sky was a beautiful blue and the sun was shining but my body decided it needed sleep more than sunshine. So this is really going to be a short  blog post.  In fact, fatigue is taking over again, so  I'm off to   bed. Maybe I'll dream of some new mischief to get into tomorrow.

A welcome sign of spring!

The sun was shining this morning!  The beautiful azure sky  provided a lovely backdrop for the  skeletal tree branches gently swaying in the wind. But it was cold!  After  nice warm temperatures a few days ago, the rain and wind blew in  cold weather again.   Except for  checking on the seedlings in the greenhouse and  re-filling the bird feeders I didn't venture out today.

But when I did venture out to fill the feeders I was greeted by our first daffodil bloom of the year! There she was,  a lovely golden beauty, "fluttering and dancing in the breeze."  She kept her head down so as  not to lose her  hat, I  think. She was alone, but  was surrounded by several fat buds  ready to burst open and join her any day now. On this date last year we had snow, and we  may get some more this year, but for right now, I'll take any sign of spring I can get, so am very grateful to the daffodil.

 

Wonky on Wednesday

Had my second chemo treatment in this series and have been  sort of  wonky ever since  we got home, asleep more than awake so will have to make this a short blog entry. Or not.  Sometimes I talk too much even when tired.

Yesterday was rainy and windy all day so  didn't get any work done outside except to check on the new seedlings and other plants in the greenhouse and refill the bird feeders. I had gotten most of the   living room carpet vacuumed when I  made a wrong twisting move and threw my hip out, so didn't get much more done in the way of housecleaning, either. I did get some ironing down and  some cooking, thanks in part to the lovely surprise that came via UPS yesterday. But  by the time we'd finished supper I was too tired to  do my usual blog post and went to bed early. So here's part of what I would have posted, had I been awake enough to do so :-)

When we   were watching the  Jacques Pépin cooking show, Heart and Soul, on  our local  Public Television channel a couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I had  quite a few  of Jacques' books, but not the one for that series. Unbeknownst to me, Mr. G  went online and ordered it. It came yesterday.  He   wrote on the  box, "Happy Anniversary, Birthday, and Maybe Merry Christmas." I  didn't quite know how to take that, so I asked him if he gave it to me early because he  thought I wouldn't live another  few months  to celebrate our anniversary or my birthday, but he assured me that was not the case, that he just wanted to get it while he was thinking about it and then not forget where he'd put it. I can believe that because his mother had a habit of buying birthday presents for people, hiding them away and  then forgetting where she'd put them. I can't remember how many times  she told me she'd bought me a birthday present but  forgot where it was. I got a lot of birthday presents four months late,  usually on Christmas. Since I'm convinced the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree, I accept Mr. G's explanation.

Here's a pic of the title page from the  cookbook. There are wonderful recipes, beautiful photographs of the food, and of Jacques  enjoying food and fun with his friends and family. I just discovered that Jacques Pépin is also an artist in  a medium other than food- the  whimsical  roosters are just some of his original artwork scattered throughout the book.

I used a recipe for velvet spinach from the new book.  I liked that very much.  Mr. G not so much- he says  he prefers  my  old recipe for creamed spinach. Oh, well.  The rest of our meal  was prepared using  recipes from another Pépin cookbook, More Fast Food My Way.  The Pork medallions with grapes in  pomegranate sauce were oh, so tender and delicious.  And the Apple maple topping served over butter pecan ice cream- what can I say?! Here's a pic of the apples bubbling away on the stove.  Can you smell that delicious scent of  maple syrup, apples and  just outright deliciousness- which I'm convinced has a  scent all its own.

Rainy Days and Mondays

It's been a lazy, rainy day.  Agatha and Patches sat looking out the  front door most of the morning, watching the  squirrels and birds, who were very active all day.  

There was both good news and bad news when I went to the greenhouse to take the cover off the seedbox.
The bad news was that   the humidity in the box  had  provided the perfect environment for fluff white fungus to  grow  in the the pots and packs of seedlings I'd  repotted last week. I've taken them out of the box now and will be setting a fan on them tomorrow to see if we can't take care of the problem. The good news was that we had more sproutage! The zinnia seeds and the second sowing of lettuce have sprouted and  it looks as though the  calendula are about to pop up, too.

Tonight was yoga class.  The weather was horrible, rainy and foggy the whole  drive there.  I was surprised  that we had a full class tonight, but yoga folks are a determined lot, it seem.  I feel better for going, and I'm  sure most of my yoga classmates feel the same way, so we  brave all kinds of nasty weather  in order to  be trees and mountains and warriors and such.  Tonight we were stars and did moon salutations in honor of tonight's full moon,  the Snow Moon, which,  because of the rain and clouds, we aren't able to see. Oh, well, we  saluted it anyway, and are  more relaxed and fit   because of our salutations, I think.

Rainy days are good for cooking and baking

It has rained off and on most of the day.  The forecast for the next couple of days sounds like we could be in for a rough ride with the possibility of severe thunderstorms and the threat of a tornado. Looks like Mother Nature is determined to make us pay for those few nice  days we had  a few days ago.

Since  it wasn't a good day to work outside, I decided to cook. I had planned   to cook slow roasted  lamb with herb crust  and roasted potatoes  with a vegetable tian, and a maple and apple tarte tatin for dessert. It's been years since I  baked a tarte tatin but this one turned out to be not too bad. I  could have  cooked the syrup a little longer- it wasn't quite caramelized enough, although it was much darker than it appears to be in the picture. The flash makes it look a couple of shades lighter

Mr. G had peeled and cored the apples for me, and had peeled more than  I needed for the tarte, so I decided to break out my newest   kitchen gadgetry purchase and make some apple tarte tatin turnovers.  I ordered a set of three turnover gizmos from King Arthur flour. They are so cool! When they are closed up they remind me of  play denture sets. You roll out the dough, then cut a circle with one side of the cutter,  turn the cutter over, place the dough  on it, Before I  fold mine I usually moisten the edges of the  circle  to help seal  them, today I brushed on a beaten egg and also used  the egg  on the pastry before putting it in the oven to give it a nice shine. Then I  put the the filling on the circle, folded the cutter over and it automatically  closed and crimped the edges. I didn't get any pics of the finished  product before we gobbled them up.  Sorry about that.  Here are some pics of the  cutters- they came in a 4", 5" and 6 " size and can be used for meat pies,  empanadas and calzones, too.

They cut perfect  circles! Of course, puff pastry   tries to shrink as soon as you move it.

Here is the pastry laid on the top of the  form, the filling in place and the egg wash around the edge.

Close up the mold and Voila!  a turnover all sealed and crimped and ready to bake

More yard work

The weather wasn't quite as  nice as yesterday.  The sky was overcast all day, but the temperature was mild and the wind wasn't quite as strong so it was a good day to be outside again.  So we were back out doing yard work again.  Mr. G finished raking up the pine cones and pine straw and I began   pruning the roses,   getting rid of the honeysuckle  and greenbrier vines that were strangling the roses and cutting out the forest of privet that had grown up in the flower beds. We're predicted to get rain beginning late tonight  lasting through Wednesday so we were trying to get as much done as we could before the rain got here. Of course we didn't finish but we made a pretty big dent in it. I finally had to  stop because the  thorns on the briers and roses were   getting through my gloves and sleeves and sticking me. It's  frustrating  to have to be so cautious, but the nurses warned me to be very careful gardening while on the chemo since it is so easy for a cut or puncture to get infected and one of the drugs actually inhibits  wound healing. I was beginning to think I might need falconer's gloves  and a suit of armor  to tackle the roses and briers since we had let them go last year and they had gotten  quite big and out of hand.  Also the  vines had   wrapped so tightly around some stalks of the Zephirine Drouhin that the   wood was completely dead, so she looks pretty bad right now.

We got the Ballerina, Red Cascade,  Zephirine Drouhin pruned but still have some pruning  to do on the Katy Road Pink and the Perle d'Or.  I hope the ones we did today  put off a lot of new growth  and bloom well this summer despite the drastic pruning we  gave them.  Here are some pics from previous years of a few of the roses in bloom.  I was surprised that  I didn't have  many pics of the roses among my garden photos and none of the ballerina or red cascade in bloom. The first three are  pics of the Katy Road Pink and the last is a little vase of  several different ones from the garden, along with some blooms from the buddleia - they smelled heavenly, especially the Zephirine Drouhin and the Katy Road:

Energized by the beautiful weather

Today was another beautiful day.  The temperature  got up to seventy degrees Fahrenheit and it truly felt like spring.  I got some more seeds planted, then Mr. G and I did a little yard work.  Mostly  it was Mr. G. doing he work, trimming shrubs and raking up pine cones and branches that had fallen in the wind and rain, although I served as consultant on the pruning and   bagged up  my fair share of pine cones. Then  the girls and I went for a little walk enjoying the  weather and the scents and sights, which included   some  flowers  blooming and some about to burst into bloom.

 The spring-like weather  must have energized me because I wasn't the  least bit tired   when it was time to cook supper. I  used a menu and recipes from the Pollan Family cookbook: Easy chicken Parmesan with fresh mozzarella, roasted asparagus with frizzled shallots and for dessert, raspberry pudding cake.

I began with the pudding cake, greasing a square pan and heating the oven.   I mixed up the  batter, then cooked the raspberries in a syrup along with some raspberry preserves. Here you can see the batter ready to go in the pan, and the syrup  cooking on the stove in the two top pictures. The botton pictures show the raspberry syrup poured on top of the batter in the pan, ready to go in the oven, then the  finished pudding cake.  Which, if I do say so myself, was quite delicious! 

  The chicken Parmesan with the roast asparagus  was supposed to look like this photo from the cookbook:

 But mine looked like this. Definitley  in need of a beauty makeover or a food stylist! It may not have looked beautiful  but the chicken was  very tender, and quite spicy, but not too spicy, while the asparagus, although it looks a little overcooked was very good-  a little crisp but not at all tough or stringy and very easy to chew.  i cooked some extra cutlets, so we'll probably have them again tomorrow night, along with some more  freshly roasted asparagus.

An brief intermission in winter's long performance.

The robins  from yesterday  have moved on- we saw very few today, and that was early this morning. What we did see at the feeders today were  brown headed cowbirds. I have very mixed feelings about cowbirds.  While the males are  really cool looking with their black bodies, brown heads and  short  little beaks,  they are brood parasites and may have contributed to the decline of several rare bird species. On the other hand they've developed a pretty  sneaky way of  getting  their young raised without any effort on their part, leaving them free to pursue other interests while still maintaining a biological edge. If you'd like to learn more about them, NestWatch at the Cornell Ornithology Lab has some interesting info about them.

 Today was  one of those  lovely  spring days that create a welcome interruption in the  gloomy, cold winter  weather.  Blue skies, warm temperatures,  a gentle breeze, perfect for  getting outside and  puttering around.  I'd love to say I  got my hands dirty today, but I didn't- I got my gloved hands in the dirt for awhile, though. I usually wear  gardening gloves when I'm working out in the garden, but hate wearing gloves to  pot up seedlings.  However, since the chemo has left me with a  compromised immune system and even sterilized potting soil, once opened, often contains bacterial and fungal pathogens that can cause some serious  illnesses, gloves  are  now  part of my potting attire., I wore purple  rubber gloves today when I potted up the little lettuce seedlings. The seedlings were getting their second set of leaves and were ready to come out of their vermiculite  birthplace, so now they're   stretching their roots out in  potting soil in little  six  pack type  pots.

Tomorrow  I'll probably sow more seeds in vermiculite since we are now about eight weeks away from the last frost. We're supposed to have a few more nice  days like today before the temperatures go back down and rain moves in,  so I'm planning to make the most of them. May even  trim some  shrubs and prune the roses if my energy level holds up. And the girls will be anxious for another walk- we had a nice little walk this afternoon.  We don't walk very far but  they seem to enjoy just getting  out of our yard and smelling the more exotic scents of the wider world. Needless to say, they left their own scents for the next  dog that  comes  through  to smell, but fortunately no pooper-scooper was needed today.

Blackbirds and Red, Red Robins Came Bob, Bob, Bobbing Along

Today, a full week after the chemo treatment and five days after having the pump unhooked,  I was finally beginning to feel a little more energetic.  So I made up a weekly menu plan filled with all the delicious things I was going to cook for the next week, typed up a grocery list, and we headed to Publix. Up and down the aisles we  trekked, filling up our basket, occasionally having to backtrack  to  pick up something  we'd missed earlier. By the time we wheeled our cart into the check-out lane I felt as though we had walked miles. That took care of most of my energy, and by the time I'd put the groceries away and refilled the bird feeders, I didn't even have enough energy left to boil water, let alone cook one of the delicious meals I'd planned for supper. And that is how, with  enough groceries  in the fridge and pantry  to feed a marauding army, we found ourselves once more in our typical "best laid plans" mode,  and why Mr. G went out and brought  back a pizza.  Which meant that I  didn't have to cook and he didn't have to  wash the  kazillion dirty pots, pans, dishes and utensils that I leave after one of my  inspired cooking sessions, so it was all good. The pizza   wasn't too bad, either.

When I went out to fill the feeders today,  the air was filled with the chattering and tweeting of birds. I looked up and saw  that blackbirds were  flying in to  rest in the  tree next door before moving on.  They were soon joined by a few robins and I managed to get a couple of  shots as they were landing in the tree.
 For the  past few days there have been flocks of robins  in the yard,  followed by red winged blackbirds.  These blackbirds today seemed to be regular blackbirds and starlings.  They have been swooping into the trees in waves, then  flying down and covering the ground for a few minutes before taking off in a great cloud that casts  a dark shadow as they fly overhead.

But the blackbirds weren't the biggest surprise. When I went to let poor little Agatha out this afternoon, she stood on the deck sniffing the air, her ears   perking up, then going down as large numbers of robins  flew low  above her, going back and forth from the  holly tree that overhangs the deck to the woods behind the house. Agatha, who is generally afraid of nothing,  headed straight back to the house.  She wanted no part of those huge swooping things flying overhead. At the rate the robins have been going this afternoon  they may strip the holly of berries in no time.  They have been chowing down on them most of the afternoon and knocking   just as many berries off onto the deck making a fine old mess. Here's a little video I shot of them today- notice the  moon in that lovely afternoon sky. I wish I had just a little of their energy!

  

Allocating limited energy

Those little  chemo warriors must be staging a fierce battle inside my body because I'm still dragging.  I just hope they don't get too carried away and  kill off more good cells than bad cells. I decided yesterday that if I'm only going to  have a limited supply of energy to draw upon, I'll have to allocate it on a priority basis, so I decided  to concentrate primarily on cooking supper. I have managed to get out and fill the bird feeders, check on the seedlings in the greenhouse and do some spot watering out there, but have decided everything else, except for preparing  one major meal a day,  can wait until I have  more energy and can get get around to doing it without becoming exhausted!
 I turned to Jacques Pepin's  More Fast Food My Way for   menu ideas and recipes  for yesterday and today. We have dined like  kings for the past two days, I kid you not. In fact,   by doling out my energy to one major task per day, I have   gone from one course meals to two course until today I worked up to a three course meal!   Go me!

Yesterday  we began with  smoked salmon timbales:  alternating layers of  goat cheese, thinly sliced smoked salmon,  sliced apple and sliced red onion.  A lovely combination of tastes and textures.  We followed that with  broiled lamb chops with spinach and baked potatoes with chive sour cream.  The spinach was sauteed with   garlic, pimentos  and golden raisins. The menu also called for  crepes with banana rum filling, but I had run out of steam by then so we went without a dessert. The lamb chops  were delicious as was the spinach and I'll probably   cook using that recipe again.

 Tonight, we went for three courses- and made it!  We began with a mushroom veloute.  The recipe called for both white button mushrooms and tree ear mushrooms, but our local Piggly Wiggly is not known for  offering   less well-known varieties of  mushrooms - I don't think I've ever seen a dried morel in there, let alone a tree ear. Despite the omission, the  veloute was quite good, and I had made enough   that we'll be able to have some for lunch tomorrow. For the main course we had  what Jacques  calls "Instant beef tenderloin stew."   This is probably the first time I have ever cooked  a stew without braising the meat and vegetables in some sort of broth.  Diced potatoes, baby carrots, button mushrooms, chopped onions and garlic are cooked in butter and olive oil in a covered skillet  until tender, at which point baby  peas are added- I used frozen peas. The beef tenderloin  is cut into  1 1/2 inch pieces and sauteed in another skillet, then  removed when  browned.    A small amount of white wine and chicken broth are then added to the skillet, brought to a boil  then everything is combined   and served.  It was    very tasty and quite filling and I was surprised that the meat turned out to be as tender as it did. We finished up the meal with an apple. pecan and apricot crumble that was  easy- peasy to put together and had been cooking in the oven while the rest of the meal was being prepared. 

So that is  how I've  allocated my  limited amount of energy.  I'm hoping that  the fatigue will lessen  in a day or so and I can actually get more accomplished. Time will tell.  Meanwhile, I'm off to bed. 

The untethering

I actually slept for five hours straight last night! That may not seem like such a wonderful thing to many of you, but ever since  I first began treatment back in May of last year I've been lucky to sleep for two hours at a time.  The usual pattern is sleep a couple of hours, wake up, stay awake unable to go back to sleep for about an hour, then sleep another  two hours or so. I guess I could   ask the doc to prescribe something but  would rather  just try to work around the erratic sleep pattern and continue to pace myself to keep from getting tired and worn out during the day.

Anyway, once I woke up this morning,  I got up and let the dogs out and in then went back to sleep.  The facial flushing from yesterday has pretty much gone away, leaving me  with nothing more than a slighly rosy complexion-  a lot better  than the deathly pallor I had on  Wednesday after the infusion session!  When I woke up again, my pump was showing "High P" which usually means one of the clamps has closed up.  As it turns out, the clamps were all open but  I had  rolled over onto one and  forced it almost shut.  Once I   untangled myself from the tubing it began pumping normally again. Don't know how long it had been  closed, but  it had slowed the process down some. It finally    went down to the  "1" and started flashing, signalling that it's time to unhook. It's really  handy that   the clinic has a program to train a family member in unhooking the pump, and it's great also that Mr. G. was willing to take the  training. But as he pointed out to me,  he'd worked at a veterinary clinic  when he was a teenager and assisted in all kinds of things  including spaying and euthanasia procedures. To be perfectly honest I think he could have picked   different procedures to mention if he really wanted me to feel better about the whole thing!   But anyway, putting thoughts of euthanasia out of my mind  ( he still does need me to do  some stuff, remember ) I watched him get unhooking kit ready as I sucked on a peppermint, and then  we began the process. First  he removed the battery from the pump,  then closed  the clamp on the lower tubing unscrewed the  lower tubing from the cap  at the end of the  short tubing still attached  to the port. After putting on the gloves   included in the kit, he wiped off the  cap with an alcohol swab,   checked the first syringe, filled with a saline flush, for air bubbles, screwed the  syringe to the   cap and  pumped in the saline. Then  he repeated  the procedure with the  heparin syringe.  I suck on a peppermint during this part because it seems to help cover the smell and prevent the weird metallic taste I get in my mouth. The heparin   prevents  clots from forming in the catheter that runs from the port into your vein.  Then he closed the clamp on the short tubing, removed the syringe, and began to remove the clear dressing  over the port.  Once that was off , he pulled the needle out, swabbed the  needle site and we were good to go. No blood was spilled and I survived! We both survived, actually!

For some reason, the fatigue is worse after the unhook than at any other time, and after eating breakfast I stayed up long enough to snap a few photos of the huge flock of blackbirds that flew in and settled in the front yard before they took off together in an enormous  black cloud that cast an ominous shadow as they flew away. I love to watch them  come in then all rise up  as one and fly off again.

After that, I crashed and slept most of the afternoon.   Mr. G decided not to go fishing after all since the wind had been blowing a little stronger than predicted, so no fresh trout for supper. Which is OK because I probably wouldn't have had the energy to cook it anyway. 

Remember the pasta I cooked last night? I dreamed that Hillary Clinton   came to  our house, got some out of the fridge, heated it in the microwave and was sitting at the table eating it. I told her she shouldn't have heated it in the microwave because it dried out the pasta and made it rubbery, but she said it tasted fine to her. That was it- no idea why she was in the kitchen or what she'd come for. I can only assume she read my blog  today and decided she had to try that pasta! Oh, those drug induced dreams! One of the perks of chemotherapy, I'm sure.

By the time I got up all the bird feeders were empty and the sun was about to set- the usual  time for the birds' last feeding frenzy of the day.   Mr. G, bless his heart, volunteered to  go outside and fill the feeders.  As I watched him through the  windows and saw the trouble he was having trying to figure out how to  open up the feeders to fill them, then fit himself under the  low tree branches, I figured he may not volunteer for that job again!

And that was my lazy day.  Thank goodness Hillary Clinton left enough  pasta for our supper, because  left-overs were the order of the day, I'm afraid. I'm hoping  my energy level will be back to normal tomorrow because I really don't want to eat leftovers again!