Blizzards that didn't visit and birds that did

Yesterday we had snow flurries. For a while, big flakes fell steadily and it looked as though we might actually get some accumulation.  Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on  how much you love or hate snow,  it didn't happen, and our blizzard was  very short lived.

 
Having seen  today  how much snow some parts of the  Northeast got and the trouble it has caused with   traffic accidents, stranded motorists, and  massive power outages, I am very thankful it passed us by! We don't do snow well in central Alabama.  People here don't know how to drive in snow, most of us don't have snow tires and would have no idea how to put chains on tires if we had them. We don't have snowplows or other  equipment  necessary for keeping the roads cleared, and we invariably lose power when lines break under the weight of  snow and ice. Consequently, schools  dismiss at the first sign of a snowflake and  grocery stores immediately sell out of milk, bread and toilet paper.  

Even though we didn't get the snow,  it was  bitterly cold today and we  watched the birds make steady trips to the  feeders, eating enough to build  up the fat reserves that enable them to survive the cold winter nights.

While we were watching the cardinals, sparrows, finches, doves and other birds, we  noticed that the magnolia tree  close by seemed to have more pods than we remembered it having earlier in the week. We  looked again through the binoculars and saw that what we thought were pods, was actually a group of  cedar waxwings  who were neatly camouflaged   among the magnolia leaves. We had just   mentioned a few days ago that we hadn't seen any  waxwings this year and wondered what had happened to them. Turns out they've probably been hiding in plain sight all along!  We were afraid if we opened the storm door to take a photo we'd spook them, causing them fly off.  I don't have a  powerful  zoom lens on my camera but did manage to get this somewhat fuzzy shot shooting through the  storm door.  If you look closely you can see five cedar waxwings pretending to be magnolia pods.  Masters of  disguise they are!  They are also  most likely the reason we haven't seen  many red berries poking out of the pods this year. Magnolia seeds  I don't mind sharing with them; I just hope they don't decide to  eat all the berries off the dogwood tree, leaving us bereft of blossoms come spring.

  

Scanxiety

Well, thank goodness THAT'S  over! My CT scan was scheduled for 8 AM this morning.  Didn't sleep all that well- in fact didn't go to sleep until three AM, just kept tossing and turning and trying to get the cat to move to the foot of the bed instead of right  by my shoulder. Part of my sleeplessness may have been due to "scanxiety" since the results of this scan will determine to a large extent  what  treatment comes next. Got up bright and early  very hungry and  dying for a cup of coffee  and some toast but had to settle for a big bottle of  barium suspension instead.

 I don't know what they add to the barium in the suspension, but the stuff was sickly sweet, so I'm assuming it was some sort of  artificial sweetener. Did I mention that artificial sweeteners often act as a  potent laxative for me? Needless to say,  we were a little late leaving the house and I  suggested to Mr. G. that maybe he should try to find a Port-a-Jon on wheels to pull behind the car so I could ride back there. I'm still not completely over the  loose bowel effect brought on by the radiation treatments, so  I was operating under a double whammy this morning.  It got so bad that I  figured I had better wear a Depends  and take several changes of clothes to avoid any public embarrassment. When we arrived at the hospital Mr. G  dropped me off at the front entrance and went to  park the car. My first stop was the restroom in the main lobby.  I  pretty much know the  location of  almost every public restroom in the hospital by now and some that aren't so public and have used most of them!

I finally  made it up to  radiation department, got registered, paid my copay and found a seat in the waiting area that was   fairly close to the restroom. That didn't really help too much, and I didn't quite make it a few times. When I got down to my last change of  underwear, I inquired at the desk to see if there was somewhere close by I could buy some Depends.  The  kind woman in charge said she would check with the nurses and see if they had something I could use. Pretty soon a  male nurse came out with a thick package in his hand. He  asked if I was the person who needed the adult diaper and handed it to me, explaining that it was probably going to be too big, but they only had one size and  it was better than nothing.  

Too big was a huge understatement!  Remember, I  am about 5'1" and weigh 85 pounds soaking wet. This thing wrapped around my body, overlapped, and bunched into a glob between my legs. It would probably  have been too big for the average sumo wrestler! Nevertheless, I struggled valiantly to get it wrapped around me only to discover that  once wrapped, there was nothing to  secure it with.  Besides that, it was bunched up so thickly between my legs that I couldn't even walk, I could only waddle! I finally gave up,  took it off, refolded it, put on my very last pair  of underpants and  hoped fervently that there were no more  mishaps.

When I came out, Mr. G said they were waiting for me in the back, so off I went through the door to meet  the nurse, who took me back to the CT machine. After  taking a blood sample they got me all comfy on the nicely padded table - such a  difference from the  cold hard table used for the radiation treatments!  They asked if I needed another pillow and even brought me a heated blanket, which felt like pure heaven, and told me if I needed to make  a run to the restroom to let them know. I did need to, twice actually, before the tech came in to access my port and  inject the contrast medium. 

After the  contrast medium is infused I always get a weird taste in my mouth; it feels as though something hot is running in my veins and  there's the sensation of  losing control of my bladder. Even though I have never lost control during the procedure, since I had already pretty much lost control of my  bowels, that just added to the stress. Not even yoga  breathing and meditation could help the situation much today! Once  infused I was told to raise my arms over my head and the table moved into the center of the  doughnut ring.  The machine started its whirring and spinning and the  stern very loud voice of the CT  god blared forth. Could this  disembodied voice actually be the original inspiration for  Deux ex machina, I wonder? Lord CT ordered me to  "BREATHE IN!" "HOLD YOUR BREATH!" "BREATHE!" as the table slipped in and out of the doughnut ring. I meekly did as I was told,  very thankful that Lord CT was not my yoga instructor!

Finally we were finished and I  was able to lower my arms. The nurse said she was about to flush my lines with heparin. Heparin is an anticoagulant, often derived from pigs, that keeps clots from forming. Since having the port  implanted and  beginning treatment I've had so many heparin flushes that  it wouldn't surprise me if I began to "oink" at some point! Heparin smells bad to me and leaves a funny taste in my mouth, so I usually  suck on a peppermint during the flush.   I mentioned that I'd left the peppermints in my purse which was with Mr. G in the waiting room.  The nurse told me  they had peppermints and would get me one.  A second nurse came in and handed me a peppermint  candy so huge that I can only surmise that  it was meant for the same giant-sized people the adult diaper was made for. I stuck it in my mouth and must have looked like a greedy squirrel  hoarding nuts!

When we were all finished and I was no longer woozy the nurse escorted me back to  the waiting room. After a couple more trips to the restroom on our way out of the hospital it seemed  my problem was over- there was nothing left in my  gut, thank goodness and I could ride home without  having to resort to wearing the sumo diaper!  By the time Mr. G and I  stepped out of the hospital to  head for the car the   wind had picked up and the temperature had dropped.  It's been dropping all day now and we've had some snow flurries mixed in with the rain.  When we got home we saw that the  bird feeders were empty, so I refilled them, figuring that the wet  front steps would soon be frozen and hazardous  as the temperature dipped below freezing. Then I rewarded myself for surviving my morning ordeal by  eating a very late breakfast  followed by a nice long nap.  My oncologist should have the results of the scan by Monday when I meet with her. Now  we just have to wait patiently and I have to remember to tell myself, in a  very gentle voice, to "just breathe." 

The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men gang aft agley

Tonight's scheme for supper was a delicious meal from the Annabel Langbein cookbook. But did it ever go agley! And get ugly to boot!   I worked hard to make it look and taste good, I really did. It seemed so easy and flawless when Annabel prepared it on TV, and it looked wonderful in the cookbook. Maybe I need to take a course in food styling or hire a food stylist or get a better photo editing program or something,  because I don't  think potatoes rosti look all that appealing when they're mostly grey, with  some burned bits here and there and a few flecks of green that you  think  are parsley but can't really be sure about, given the overall appearance.

Supper was to be  flash roasted pesto salmon, potato rosti, and braised fennel with lemon.See how lovely the finished  potatoes  look in the book: beautiful and creamy with bright green flecks of parsley, surrounded by   a perfectly   cooked golden layer of deliciousness? And the braised fennel-- again a lovely creamy color with  bright green flecks of parsley.  Oh, how I was looking forward to  presenting a meal of such beauty and  watching Mr. G gaze in wonder at  my glorious creation!

Everything began well enough.  Evening rain was predicted, so I had, earlier in the day, gathered some basil and parsley from the greenhouse and   put the  stalks in water to keep them fresh.  I'd roasted some pine nuts and had them standing by, chopped some garlic,and grated some Parmesan. They all went in the blender with some olive oil and out came a lovely pesto- it looked and smelled delicious! Then it all began to go downhill.

The potato recipe called for peeling and grating the potatoes. In the process of grating them I also
grated one of my fingers, which bled profusely. While I was stemming the flow of blood and trying to find the Neosporin and Band-Aids, the grated potatoes were just sitting there, getting surly and turning a rather  nasty color.  Once the finger was bandaged up, I  squeezed the moisture out of the now discolored potatoes as directed and proceeded with the recipe, which called for adding  chopped parsley.  

I mentioned in my last post  how  hopeless I am with a knife.  So I don't use one to chop parsley or other herbs. I use a wonderful little gadget called a mezzaluna- a rocking blade with  a wooden handle that makes  quick work of mincing  parsley or  most anything else. It's perfect for knife-challenged folks like me.  I have an addiction to kitchen gadgetry.  Most of the gadgets get used a few times then  are relegated to the back of a gadget drawer and forgotten.   This one however, is very useful and gets used a lot.

The potatoes were now formed into the disc-shaped portions called for, drizzled with olive

oil and ready to be popped into the oven. I began to tackle the fennel. Again,  opting to  use a knife substitute to slice the fennel into "thin segments lengthwise" as directed in the recipe, I used  a mandoline. However, "thin" is a relative term, and my  sliced fennel was much thinner than the fennel pictured in the book. Consequently, it browned much more and much faster than I anticipated, leaving a lot of brown bits in the skillet. When I added the freshly squeezed lemon juice and water,  the liquid  immediately turned brown. Meanwhile, the potatoes were in the oven, turning grey. This did not bode well.

The salmon didn't look too bad, in fact , it was quite nice looking.  Placed on a parchment covered baking sheet,  given a generous coating of pesto, surrounded by cherry tomatoes and capers, then drizzled with oil, it looked pretty darn good I thought. The   pink salmon,   green pesto and cheerful little red tomatoes complemented each other well .It got popped into a hot (425ºF) oven for  6-8 minutes and came out still looking pretty good.


However,  everything else lost something in  translation when  it all got together on the plate, as you can see.

The colors were off, so the presentation was sorely lacking, and as I said, when  you cut into the potatoes they were sort of gray and unappetizing inside.  The fennel looked OK but Mr. G said it  had way too much lemon and I think he's right.  The fennel is definitely worth trying again, but with less lemon, and the salmon was quite delicious and  is  worth repeating. The potatoes, on the other hand, were really not worth the trouble and I will leave them to    more skilled cooks like Annabel.

Oh, well.  Sometimes it all works, sometimes it doesn't. I still wonder, though, could  a food stylist  have made it look a little more  appetizing? I doubt it. Maybe  our next meal will be more photogenic and a little less lemony.  Hope springs eternal.

Pasta, Pancetta and Prepping

Tonight's supper was another recipe from the  Pollan Family Table: creamy spinach pasta alfredo with crispy pancetta.  Oh my-  it was very, very tasty! I  forgot to take a pic, but here's the recipe page from the cookbook.   Our supper looked almost just like   the picture.

The recipe called for  frozen chopped spinach but I have a "thing" about frozen spinach.  It  is chopped with stems and all and I much prefer to by fresh spinach and remove the stems.  With older spinach I also like to remove the   hard spine and even when  we buy baby spinach there  always seems to be a fair amount of older larger  leaves with  tough spines.  Stemming  the spinach takes longer  but in my opinion is well worth the effort. Blanching  the leaves, squeezing out the  moisture and chopping the spinach takes only a few minutes and to me just tastes better than frozen spinach.

I also much prefer to  grate my own Parmesan cheese and  nutmeg because they taste so much fresher and better to me. But one  time and work saver I did use tonight was  already  diced pancetta.  I saw it   last time we were in Publix and thought I'd try it.  I'm glad I did, it was excellent and seemed to brown much better and faster than  when  I've hacked at it myself in an attempt to dice it.  Did I tell you I am  hopeless with a knife?  It's one of those skills like  swimming or riding a bike  that I was never able to master despite the efforts of some very dedicated instructors.  The poor souls tried everything they knew to help me get past my clumsiness before finally throwing their hands up in desperation and giving up.  So I am a hacker with a knife rather than a slicer,  dicer, chopper or a mincer, and the pancetta was spared from a torturous end on my cutting board, thanks to Publix.

I used another trick to peel the garlic called for in the recipe:  put the cloves in a  jar ( I used a plastic smoothie  glass with a lid that came with my blender)  with a lid and shake vigorously.  The  skin falls off and  the garlic is peeled with little or no effort on your part and no garlic smell on your hands!  You're welcome! 

The dish came together  quite nicely.  It was quick, delicious, and   called for a minimal number of pots, pans and utensils. The latter alone is enough to elicit a five star rating from Mr. G., who has taken over  dish washing duties. He frequently mutters under his breath about how, based on the number of  dirty dishes confronting him,  anybody would think I was  cooking for an army instead of two people. He just doesn't  appreciate the concept of mis en place and all the extra  little bowls that hold the prepped ingredients. Tonight,  there were only three little bowls, one saucepan, one skillet, a spatula, wooden spoon, colander for draining both the spinach and pasta, two plates and  knives and forks. We were both happy and there was a minimum of muttering, thank goodness! 

Winter Bird watching

Another cold but sunny day.   The  birds have been emptying out the bird feeders almost as quickly as I can refill them.  Agatha and Victoria enjoy sitting in the sun as it streams through the  storm door in the morning  and watching  the activity at the feeder. Sometimes they are joined by Patches, the cat, but she has gotten lazy in her old age and opts to sleep most of the time.  Patches is over 20, as near as we can tell- we've had her so long that we can't remember exactly how long she's lived with us!

Things get  loud when a cat or a squirrel wanders into view.  The dogs   take to   barking and running up and down the hall as though they expect the the squirrels and cats  to storm the barricades and launch an attack.  But this morning it was pretty quiet and peaceful and they  had only Carolina chickadees, sparrows,  house finches a tufted titmouse or two and a few cardinals to watch. Sometimes we have a more varied assortment of birds who  stop at the feeders. It may have something to do with the   seed mixes we buy and use.  This week  for instance, we've had more cardinals, but the bird seed we just bought has a lot more sunflower seeds in it than the previous mix, and the cardinals  do seem to love those sunflower seeds. When we  have  birdseed with a fair amount of cracked corn in it, we see a lot of mourning doves under the feeders.

For the last few years, come spring,  a house wren makes a nest in one of the hanging baskets in the greenhouse.  I'm anxious to see  whether that happens again this year.  It  wreaks havoc on the plants in the baskets, but  it is exciting to watch the parent birds fly in and out with materials to line the nest, then later  flitting in and out to  feed the babies when the eggs hatch, and finally  watching the  little ones stumble about on the   greenhouse benches as they learn to  fly before leaving  the nest and the  greenhouse for the last time.  I often wonder whether the little ones who hatched here are the ones who return to nest, but  have no idea.This is one of the little fledglings from last April.  Maybe he or she will come back for a visit this spring.  I hope so!

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

It has been cold all day.  I have been cold all day! Seems that  I just can't take cold weather as well as I once did.  Part of it is the  peripheral neuropathy that I  now have as a result of chemotherapy. I take extra care to make sure my feet and hands don't get cold- I put on gloves when  cleaning out the fridge or reaching into the freezer,  and even sleep with a heating pad  at my feet to keep them warm. 

But  the rest of me stays cold, too, not just my hands and feet.  Part of the reason, I think, is that I'm  quite thin and have  very little natural padding to serve as insulation. But turns out there's another reason, too: I'm getting old, and  just as I suspected,  older people feel the cold more. According to an article from Scientific American's Health After 50 there is a natural slowing of our metabolism as we age and our bodies become less efficient at generating heat and maintaining a normal body temperature. It's nice to know there's a logical scientific explanation for it.

Much as I would like to think that warm weather  will be here soon, the local weather forecast  is calling for more of the same, with a possibility that temperatures will drop into the teens tonight.  And to make things worse, there's a possibility of snow by the end of the week.  Now I know some people  love snow and look forward to it, but I am definitely not one of them! So I guess I'll just have to grit my teeth, bundle up in a zillion layers and dream of  spring. Stay warm, y'all, and repeat with me the words of P.B. Shelley: "If  Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?"

Musings About Meals, Moons, and Meat Pies

Today was one of my more energetic days.  The  cupboard was bare, or almost bare, so we went to the supermarket this morning and stocked up on provisions. I have plans for some delicious meals  in the coming week: cream of leek and mushroom soup; creamy spinach pasta alfredo with crispy pancetta, roast chicken with roasted vegetables, and tonight we had Natchitoches Meat pies, using a recipe from the American Test Kitchens cooking show on PBS. 

The recipe called for a mixture of ground beef and ground pork, so we splurged a little and bought some lovely grass fed beef to go with the ground pork.  Aside from the  ecological  considerations, the beef was worth the extra expense  from a taste standpoint. The pies were really quite delicious, and were easy  to make. The recipe made enough for tonight's supper and tomorrow's, too but that's a good thing, since I'm hoping to go to yoga tomorrow and  supper will have to be on the fly.

If you'd like to try them yourself, the recipe is here:Natchitoches Meat Pies

Other than the fact that the  meat pies have a  half-moon shape this is  totally unrelated, but as we pulled into the driveway at home after our grocery buying trip, the waxing gibbous moon  was visible in the afternoon sky. I snapped a photo. It's not as clear as I'd like, but it does show the beautiful clear blue winter sky with the  pale moon  hanging there ever so gently. From what I've read, the  moon is always there in the daytime but we can't always see it.  That's OK with me because it makes the times that we  can see it that much more special. 

A rambling account of Ants and their imminent demise, among other things

Although the   blue sky that  greeted me  when I awoke this morning was a welcome sight after yesterday's gloomy grey sky, it still wasn't quite enough to   drive away the winter blues feeling I get  this time of year. Maybe it's the cold, the shorter days, the itching to get outside and feel the warm sun without   having to bundle up like the Michelin Man. I find it hard to come up with anything worth  blogging about when the blues hit, but since I vowed to do better this year, I'm determined to try, even if I just have to ramble on aimlessly :-).  Please feel free to leave  if you get bored. 

I did get outside today  long enough to refill the bird feeders and clean up some odds and ends on the deck.  But what was really nice was puttering about in the greenhouse for a little while, deadheading some plants, clearing up a space  for seed starting and just admiring the  few plants that are still blooming.  With the sun beating down on it all day the  greenhouse  was toasty warm.  Which is probably why every ant for miles around has decided to take up residence in there.  I take that back- there are some ants who have decided the  window ledge above the kitchen sink is a nice toasty place to  reside. 

 I admire ants- they are industrious little creatures, and are  interesting to watch as they signal each other by touching antennae as they scurry back and forth between food sources and their nest.  I always feel guilty when I dispatch them to the great ant colony in the beyond, especially when I see one trying valiantly to  carry his fallen comrade back to home base. But I'm just not quite ready to  coexist peacefully with them yet. At least, not in the house or in the greenhouse, where they pour out of my pots in droves every time I water. 

We can usually keep a milder invasion under control by spraying peppermint oil. Ants use chemicals called pheromones to leave scent trails for other ants to follow. The peppermint oil, or any other strong oil, such as cinnamon,  interferes with their scent receptors and they can no longer signal each other and usually stay away from the strong scent. But sometimes, they  are so invasive and   come in such huge numbers that we resort to more drastic measures. My favorite method is to use Terro ant baits or drops. The  active ingredient  in Terro is  Borax in a liquid base that attracts the worker ants who consume the  bait and live just long enough to carry the  liquid back to the nest  to deliver a deadly dose to the rest  of the  colony. When we first began using Terro we used  drops on little   cardboard squares.  It took a little while for the ants to discover the bait, but  soon a few came and began to fill up on the syrupy liquid. 
 
 As word (or whatever communication form  ants use) got out more ants came- and kept coming until there was a huge pile of ants upon ants upon ants on the  bait. This went on for two or three days and then there were none.  They   just disappeared. Needless to say, it was a little unnerving to see that many ants on the kitchen counters,  so we began to use the traps- the ants climb inside, and many of them die there, but enough  get back to the nest to  deliver the  poison and soon they are all gone. As I said, I feel guilty, but not enough to stop using the stuff, especially after discovering once a few years ago that they had  invaded my cutlery/gadget drawer and  a sizable contingent had  taken up residence in my turkey baster. 

Killing ants does nothing to lift the winter blues, but  it did give me something to blog about tonight, in a rambling, roundabout way, so maybe ants in  the kitchen  do have some redeeming qualities after all! :-)

Ponderings about life and death and living well

I have begun this blog post  several times, only to  delete everything I've written.  The news this week that  David Bowie, Alan Rickman and now Celine Dion's husband, René Angélil, have all died from Cancer within days of each other  is depressing enough.  But then to read in today' newspaper that a young man, full of hope and promise, from  a town just up the road was shot and killed in a robbery as he waited in line  to buy a hamburger  at a fast food restaurant is almost too much  to process.

When you have  stage IV cancer, you realize that the odds are it is going to kill you, you just don't know when.  It's sort of like waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Meanwhile you go on with life  in as normal a way as possible, because you also realize that   any of us could die  at any time, even  while waiting in line for a hamburger.  So  you   decide that you can either spend your days worrying  about dying or you can get on with the business of living. And you do that in between waiting for the next scan or test to be scheduled, the next  doctor appointment, the next treatment. But in between all those tests, appointments, treatments, some of which  sap your  energy, make you   ill, cause you to have numb  feet and fingers, there are  meals to plan, shop for and cook,   dogs and cats to  feed, walk, take to the vet, bird feeders to refill, gardens to  plant and weed,  and even toilets to scrub.  And there are sunrises and sunsets to marvel at,  birds flitting about, squirrels  scampering up tree trunks, and friends and family to talk to and interact with. 

 And life goes on.  Until it doesn't. And that's OK, because today is all we have, and  the best we can do is  live today in the best way we know how and not take it for granted.  To squeeze every drop of joy and love and life  from every day and  share  that love and  joy as best we can with those around us.  As Francis Bacon said: “We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake...” Let us live that moment well and fully.

Seeds, Spring and Salmon

My seeds from Pinetree Garden Seeds  Seeds came today! Also in the order were  plant markers a new marking pen, a complimentary packet of zinnia seeds and a new cookbook,  The Pollen Family Table,  written by Corky, Lori, Dana and Tracy Pollen with a  foreword by Michael Pollen. It's a lovely cookbook with   photos of the Pollans preparing and enjoying food and  it's filled with hints, suggestions and  biographical sketches of the authors.

I   tried recipes from both my new cookbooks for supper tonight: pan seared salmon with salsa verde from the Pollan book, and saffron spinach risotto from Annabell Langbein's book. Here's a pic  of the salmon dish and  the recipe, since we gobbled ours down without taking a pic of it. It was  fun to make the salsa verde with parsley and chives from  the earthboxes on the deck and  mint and basil ( the Pollans suggested basil as a substitute for people who don't like cilantro --and I definitely don't like cilantro) overwintering in pots in the greenhouse.

It was a delicious meal, with  so many lovely flavors. I'm looking forward to trying more recipes from both books. And of course, I'm looking forward to sowing  the seeds that came.  Oh- and I  also ordered more seeds- I've decided we MUST have   summer squash and more annual herbs. Now I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I haven't bitten off more than I can chew with all these grand gardening plans! At any rate, I'm looking forward to spring and watching   all the plants wake up and  leaf out  after their winter sleep.

The cookbook as a work of art

My  Annabell Langbein Free Range Cook book came today! It is  absolutely wonderful!

Not only are the recipes fresh, exciting and  delicious, but the beautiful photography makes each dish, each meal, look like an  inviting, sensual delight. The menus from her cooking  series are there so you can plan an entire meal from appetizer to dessert.  Interspersed throughout is Ms. Langbein’s commentary, showing her devotion to wholesome, fresh food, simple living, and her appreciation of  and for the people who produce that food and the beautiful  New Zealand landscape that surrounds her. 

 I can’t wait to try some of the recipes.  And I have decided that we MUST grow squash in our garden this year, or at least zucchini, just so we can try her chevre-stuffed zucchini flowers. Watch out, evil squash vine borers-  we  will fight once more

If your local  public television channel  carries the show, you might want to check it out.  It’s shown in my area on APTV Create, but  the  schedule seems to vary quite a bit and I’ve missed a few shows. You can check  for your area on her website which has a link to the  US  stations that carry her show.

 The cookbooks are available from Amazon; This is the one I  have: The Free Range Cook: Simple Pleasures.

Dreaming of Spring

I ordered seeds today:  haricots vert, rainbow carrots, eggplants, both purple and white, tomatoes, lovely little leaf lettuce.  I decided to minimize my stress factor by NOT growing squash and facing the inevitable   heartache of losing my lovely squash to the evil squash vine borers as has happened nearly every year.  I will buy squash this summer at the farmers market and let others deal with the nasty insects that suck the life from the plants. I had hoped to grow some so that I could cook the squash blossoms, and I may yet order some  summer squash seed, there’s plenty of time.  Not wanting to completely eliminate the challenge of organic gardening in the Deep South, I did order some tomato seeds, so that I can battle the tomato hornworms again. I am a glutton for punishment, it seems. 

At any rate, the order is now on its way and the seeds should be here soon.  So while the temperature  tonight is already in the  twenties here and the cold winds, gray skies and frigid winter weather  may be here to  stay a while, I shall escape them temporarily by dreaming of spring and lovely warm  sunny days as I start preparing my seed box set-up in the greenhouse. 

To Seed or Not to Seed, That is the Question

Eight days into the new year. Time seems to fly by these days, and   so many things on my to-do list remain undone. I thought that once I was off the chemo and radiation, I would feel energized and get a lot more accomplished, but so far that hasn’t happened, and if anything, I have even less energy sometimes. I guess those non-cancerous cells that got zapped in treatment are taking longer to recover than I thought they would.  On a positive note, though, my radiation “sunburn” seems to be getting better and I can lie down without feeling I’m lying on a bed of nails.  And the large blue paint pen "X" marks that the radiation therapists marked me with have finally been scrubbed off. I rubbed and rubbed every time I got in the shower, but they stubbornly remained.  Now, after a week, they have finally faded to the point where they're barley visible.

I ordered a new cook book today: The Free Range Cook: Simple Pleasures , by

Annabel Langbein .  I  have  been watching cooking shows on  Public Television’s “Create” channel, and have gotten hooked on  Annabel Langbein and her recipes. I’m really looking forward to cooking vegetable samosas when the book comes- along with  some of the other scrumptious recipes I’ve seen on the show.

Ordinarily, I’d be sending off seed orders now, in anticipation of starting seeds in the greenhouse next month. But we still don’t know exactly what’s ahead in the way of treatment/surgery  or disease progression or regression  and whether or not I’ll be up to doing any heavy-duty gardening come spring so I’m thinking of just waiting to see how things go at my next appointment and buying bedding plants instead of starting my own seeds if it turns out that gardening is a go. I may give in and order seeds anyway, since we prefer heirloom plants and buying seed gives you  a much wider variety to choose from. Decisions, decisions. . . The saying goes that to plant a seed is to believe in tomorrow, so maybe I should just take an optimistic view,  sweep away any negative thoughts, plan my garden, and dream about all the delicious meals we can have  with freshly harvested  veggies from our very own back yard!  Meanwhile, I’ll look at  pics from last year's garden for inspiration. 

The garden looked so nice and neat until the hot weather set in and my energy and enthusiasm for weeding waned.  From then on, it became an unruly jungle!

The Bright Lights Chard is always so pretty.

 Annabell Langbein  cooked squash blossoms on tonight's program.   That would be fun and easy  if they were growing right outside the kitchen door!

 We enjoyed the lovely tender fresh lettuce last spring- and had enough to share with neighbors since I  tend to overplant .

Goodbye, Mr. Snowman. See you next year

We began taking down the Christmas decorations today.  No more brightly lit snowman with outstretched arms to welcome us home on cold dark nights. Now Mr. Snowman and his little fawn friend are inside, tucked away under the basement stairs until next Christmas.  The outside decorations, door wreaths, nutcracker princes, sleigh, santas and reindeer and the browning greens in the living room are all gone.  The Christmas decorations in the kitchen and den remain, but in the living room the Christmas tree,   with the nativity scene tucked under its lower branches, is all that remains of Christmas. It will come down tomorrow, on Twelfth Night.  I will miss seeing it all sparkly and shiny, brightening the corner with its cheerful lights.

A laid back start to the year

The new year is getting off to a slow start. I’m not pushing myself to get a lot done. Did a couple of loads of laundry, paid some bills, filled out my “to do” list for the week and managed to tick someone off  on facebook. You know, the usual stuff. It has been a cold day.  The sun must have thought it was too cold to come out too, since it has been hiding behind the lovely little fluffy cotton clouds all day.  But there have been patches of blue sky peeking out between the clouds, so it hasn’t been a dreary day, just a cold one.

  And I am very proud of myself!  Mr. G gave me a smartphone for Christmas.  It arrived after Christmas, but that’s another story.  At any rate, I  HATED it.  Couldn’t figure out how to do ANYthing with it. I was perfectly happy having a dumb phone that just made and received calls and text messages, but Mr. G heard me say once that I guessed I’d have to get a smartphone one day, and ta-da!  He decided now was the day and bought  me one.  I am happy to report that I have now managed to transfer my contact list from the old phone to the new one.  But best of all, I now have my faithful old rooster ringtone  back! Maybe if I keep plugging away and googling for  answers I’ll figure out how to use all the bells and whistles and grow to love it, just as I did the Kindle Fire, which I also hated at first.    

Hoping that your New Year is off to a good start and that the year holds  promise and hope and love for us all.

Welcome 2016!

It’s a new year.  Quite a few of my friends had more than their share of sadness in 2015 so I hope 2016 is a much better year for all of us.

Here’s a medical update: I finished up 28 rounds of chemoradiation on Dec. 30.  It was not the most pleasant experience I’ve ever had; in fact, my seat is quite sore. There is no way to describe the experience without being a little gross, but I’ll try not to be too graphic.  Imagine, if you can, that you have a severe sunburn  in and around your large intestine and rectum.  Now imagine that before it exits your body everything you eat is magically transformed into habanero peppers  boiled in molten lava and seasoned with fire ants. There you have it. It’s quite painful.  I’m pretty sure insurance won’t cover the cost of soundproofing the bathroom, but I think it should! Yet another complication, and one which caused the doctor to take me off chemo for a week or two, was mucositis-  nasty ulcers  that formed in my mouth and nose. I also had  more severe  tingling and numbness in my feet and hands but the ulcers were the doctor’s primary concern. She was worried they could spread to my throat making me unable to swallow and that I’d become dehydrated. So off came the pump. I was not sorry.  The pump went back on once the ulcers cleared up and I wore it for the final three days of radiation. The neuropathy  was more annoying than  truly painful- numb fingers make decorating a Christmas tree somewhat challenging J

I told my oncologist that I was pretty sure she and the radiation oncologist had consulted with the Marquis deSade  before coming up with that particular treatment plan.  She thought I was kidding. Little did she know!

Now we are waiting for insurance to approve another CT scan to see what effect, if any, the treatment has had. Once the CT scan is scheduled and done and the results are in I’ll meet again with both oncologists and the surgeon to see where we go from here. Needless to say, I’m hoping all that misery served a good purpose and that both the rectal and liver tumors have shrunk or disappeared.  Time (and the scan) will tell. Meanwhile I have almost a month with no daily treks to the clinic for a radiation treatment, no being tethered to a pump 24 hours a day five days a week.  The new sense of freedom has been wonderful for the past few days!

Another Catch-Up Post

Looks like my   goal of posting frequently and regularly has gone unfulfilled again and despite my promises and intentions to do better, I’ve fallen into a pattern of posting once or twice a month.  So this will be a catch-up post.

I finished the eight cycles of Folfox plus Avastin October 3rd.  I feel  fortunate that the side effects were not as severe or debilitating as I’d feared. Probably the worst side effect, other than the occasional fatigue, was the drop in my white blood cell count, which delayed treatment a few times and made it necessary for me to get Neupogen shots to stimulate  my bone marrow to produce more white cells -- nineteen shots in all. One of the possible common side effects listed was  deep bone pain. I had the bone pain after the first shot  but was able to prevent it by taking a Tylenol before getting the next 18 shots- it worked! At one point my white cell count went from 3,100cmm to 36,200cmm after 3 shots; germs didn't stand a chance of surviving that week. But  they went  way down again after chemo.  It was a real roller coaster! 

I don’t want to paint too rosy a picture- the chemo was not all smiles and sunshine; there were quite a few days when I did feel the side effects.  And given the high temperatures we had here this summer, the desire for something cold to drink got really overwhelming at times.  But the oncology nurses warned me that drinking anything cold while on Oxaliplatin could be painful, so I drank and ate everything at room temperature or hotter. Except for the one time I forgot and took a swig of water straight from the fridge.  Oh MY!! It felt as though I was swallowing shards of glass! I didn’t try THAT again! And it did get to be an aggravation towards the end of the regimen when, in order to avoid the pain of neuropathy, I had to wear gloves while reaching into the fridge or freezer or shopping the frozen food aisles at the grocery store.

Anyway, I survived- and didn’t even lose much hair.  It thinned but stayed on my head for the most part. In fact, everyone I run into who knows I’ve been on chemo says how good I look, which is a little worrisome because folks never  went out of their way to tell me how good I looked before all this started ;-)

The oncologist set me up for another CT scan to see how effective the chemo had been. The results came in a couple of weeks ago. They show that the rectal tumor and the liver tumor have both shrunk, but the surgeon suggested that rather than schedule surgery right away we try to shrink or eliminate the rectal tumor using radiation therapy and shrink the liver tumor some more with chemo, then consider ablation, so I met again with the medical oncologist last week and will meet with the radiology oncologist this week to get that ball rolling.  Not looking forward to having a sunburn where the sun don’t shine nor am I overjoyed at wearing the portable infusion pump five or more days a week, but you do what you have to do.  And so it goes.

Rights, Restrictions and and Gun Control

With all the news over the past few days of  shootings and the ensuing Second Amendment arguments that invariably follow such tragedies claiming that gun control legislation is an attempt to seize  guns owned by law-abiding citizens and to take away Second Amendment rights, I got to wondering. . .
The Privileges and Immunities Clause, Article IV, Section 2, Clause 1 of the US Constitution  guarantees the right of free movement between the states. Most people nowadays drive or ride in motor vehicles. According to the Bureau of Transportation Statistics, in 2008, Americans owned 137,079,843 passenger cars, or a little less than one car for every two people.  But in order to legally drive a motor vehicle a person here in Alabama, as in other states, must obtain a license which includes taking a test to insure that he/she  has the skills necessary, is  physically and mentally fit to drive, and is aware of  the laws related to operating a motor vehicle.  Furthermore, this license has to be renewed periodically.  Additionally, all vehicles must be registered, which has another set of requirements, and the vehicles must carry insurance.

And yet there is no great hue and cry that these restrictions and controls infringe on a citizen’s right of free movement. Nor is there an outpouring of outrage  that such   requirements are an attempt to take vehicles away from people. Because  people know that it just isn’t true, and the auto industry evidently has no powerful, fear-mongering organization  equivalent to the NRA to convince them otherwise. 

Guns  and hunting have been  around a long time in this country, as has the National Rifle Association, but  for  most of that time, people didn’t see the need to hunt defenseless animals with semi-automatic, military-style weapons using armor- piercing ammunition, and I’d be willing to bet that most responsible gun owners still don’t. It seems to me this whole Second Amendment   uproar is a result of manipulation and lobbying  by the NRA to increase their membership and increase gun sales during a period when fewer people own guns and a small percentage of gun owners actually hunt.  For over a hundred years the NRA focused on hunting, conservation and marksmanship. One of its programs  taught Boy Scouts how to shoot safely and still provides Rifle Instructor Certification for those who wish to become a Boy Scouts of America Rifle Merit Badge Counselor. That certification requires training and testing. Ironically, the organization that believes everyone who wants to own a gun should be allowed to  regardless of  their fitness or ability and that opposes sensible regulation and registration for gun owners requires candidates for   instructor positions to:"achieve a score of 90 percent or higher in a written examination and have a minimum passing score of 80 out of a possible 100 points in firearms handling, shooting competence, and firearms safety evaluation."  The NRA states that "Only those candidates who achieve satisfactory scores in the pre-course qualification, and who meet other specified requirements for NRA instructors, are eligible for certification."  So obviously the NRA sees some value in testing and certification for certain gun owners and users.  Somewhere along the  way,  radicals took over the NRA and it became more political,  until today it is one of the most powerful lobbying organizations in the country, spending millions to influence legislators and legislation.  In 2014 the NRA spent $3.6  million on lobbying against gun control legislation, which is quite a hefty sum, but  is  considerably less than they spent in 2010.  Forbes magazine reported that in 2010 the NRA reported that it had 781 full time employees, 125,000 volunteers and generated revenues of $227.8 million, but that still wasn’t enough to cover expenses. In total, they spent $243.5 million, leaving a $15 million shortfall. That year, $10 million went to the NRA’s lobbying arm, the Institute for Legislative Action. The NRA’s 129^th convention, held in Charlotte, N.C.  in 2000, became an all out political attack on Democratic presidential candidate, Al Gore, with speeches  claiming that Gore would  take away everyone’s guns.  The convention concluded with Charlton Heston, then president of the NRA, making  his famous speech in  which, in true movie star style, he brandished a musket in the air, challenging Gore, stating, “ especially for you, Mr. Gore: From my cold, dead hands!"

Today, there are  too many “cold dead hands”, too many dead children, too many troubled youth who see guns as the way to end their problems and too many paranoid people who have been stirred up into a frenzy by fear-mongering entities like the NRA who spread  misinformation, and hatred.  Yes, the 2^nd Amendment guarantees the right of free citizens to bear arms.  That is not in dispute. But that right, like all the others granted in the Bill of Rights, is not absolute.   Rights carry with them limitations and restrictions.  Even the very conservative Supreme Court majority, in their 2008 ruling in the District of Columbia v. Heller case, note that, “Like most rights, the Second Amendment right is not unlimited. It is not a right to keep and carry any weapon whatsoever in any manner whatsoever and for whatever purpose: For example, concealed weapons prohibitions have been upheld under the Amendment or state analogues. The Court’s opinion should not be taken to cast doubt on longstanding prohibitions on the possession of firearms by

felons and the mentally ill, or laws forbidding the carrying of fire-arms in sensitive places

such as schools and government buildings, or laws imposing conditions and qualifications on the commercial sale of arms.”

 Why is that so hard for some people to understand? How many more mass shootings at schools and workplaces, how many instances of children shooting each other will it take before people say, "ENOUGH!"?

Moonstruck

 

Tonight  was  a once-in–a-generation occurrence- a supermoon, plus full lunar eclipse.  Since the next one is not scheduled to appear until 2033 or such, I figured that at my age and in my condition, this was my last chance to see one.  Of course, as luck would have it, the weather has been overcast all day with a heavy cloud cover and we were afraid  we wouldn’t  get to see it after all, but  there were a few moments when the clouds drifted away from the moon and we were able to get a few pics.  Not as spectacular as  some  I’ve seen posted on the Internet tonight, but  it was fun to watch, anyway. 

At first, there was no  red or orange glow, but   at the first break in the clouds I was able to get the  pic at the left. Within a minute, though the clouds moved back in and obscured the moon. Later, Mr. G went  and stood in the street, where  the trees wouldn't block his view, and waited for another break in the clouds.  He was able to get the picture below which does show the the moon with  its orange glow. It was  kind of fun to spend an evening being a little  moonstruck.

Late Summer, Early Fall Roundup

Pepper Place Market

 

It’s been nearly a month since my last post, and what a busy month it was.  After  my sixth treatment on August 26, we began to get ready for our daughter’s visit from Australia. We were in a flurry of getting the dogs to the groomer, cleaning house, getting in groceries, etc. and getting more Neupogen shots to keep my white blood cell count up.  I was able to get the shots scheduled for early morning so that our days weren’t  interrupted too much, so we were able to get a few activities in while Heather was here. We went to the Pepper Place Farmer’s Market, Railroad Park,  Art Crawl in downtown Birmingham, plus a couple of yoga classes and had a family get-together. 

Plenty of tomatoes and peaches

Heather   admiring some of the work at ArtCrawl

I was scheduled for the seventh chemo treatment on  September 9, but once again, my  white blood cell counts  had done a roller coaster ride in the week  following the last  Neupogen shot, so  I got more shots and chemo treatment was put off until September 11, a Friday, which meant I was  wearing the pump for Heather’s last week-end at home, which curtailed our planned activities somewhat. But we still managed to  have a nice visit and  we were able to enjoy some  of the sights  and activities in town while she was home.

It took me  quite a while to recover after that last treatment, and I had side effects that  I’d
 been able to avoid before. I experienced peripheral neuropathy in my hands for the first time- and it is NOT fun, so now I wear gloves whenever I reach into the fridge or freezer and Mr. G  reaches into the cooler and  frozen food sections  at the grocery store, because I  keep forgetting my gloves when we go out.  Gloves are just not something I normally think about when the weather is hot and humid, but a few more experiences of numb, painful fingers will probably work well to jog my memory.

I had  more shots on Sept 14,15 & 16 in order to build up my blood counts for  the last scheduled treatment on September 25, yesterday. I  thought at the time, and did mention that  maybe we should put off the shots until  just before the treatment, but was assured  this schedule should work just as well.  Guess what? It didn’t.  Another roller coaster on the  numbers and another delay, so I got a shot yesterday and will get more on Monday and Tuesday, with the chemo treatment  scheduled for Wednesday. About two weeks after that I’ll have a scan to see how all this chemo has worked, or rather IF it has worked to shrink the tumors,  and then we’ll figure out, based on the results, what happens next.

Hummingbird straggler, tiger swallowtail

Meanwhile, the  hummingbird  feeder, the scene of so much activity a week or two ago now hosts only the occasional straggler. The hummers have begun their migration now that fall has arrived. Butterflies are still fluttering about, and the summer  flowers are putting on their last show of the season, while  fall blooms and berries, like the beautybush are coming into their own.

Late summer bloomers

Signs of fall: American Beautyberry, goldenrod, pineapple sage, dogwood leaves

 Although the temperatures certainly don’t feel much like fall, the leaves are beginning to turn, ever so slowly, and  when a slight breeze blows, the golden leaves  come drifting down- a very welcome sight after a long, hot summer. .